The Serpent

I'm very easy to please with movies. Give me a woman who can fight and kill and a storyline that you can semi-follow and I'm happy. This movie had the first part with Gia Skova Lucinda as a tough as nails heroine. The storyline was really difficult to follow and extremely scattered. Lucinda is running from the law, then she is the law, a special ops chick, then she's suddenly in jail, and a minute later protecting a little girl who vanishes suddenly (other characters vanish too) and then she's tracking down a mad bomber. Just pick one of those elements and there's a storyline somewhere. This movie just had the same actors doing a bunch of unrelated stuff that was kind of coherent. I saw it for free and cooked while it played. So, nothing was lost. It's a shame. I'm so easy to please. One of my favorite movies was Elektra! I liked Uwe Boll's Bloodrayne movies! Even I'm saying this was bad.

What on earth have I just watched!!

The background music is constant and annoying - as well as being inappropriate for whatever happens to be on screen.

The continuity is all over the place - I don't think anyone thought about joining the pieces of this film together - and the editing is constant cut scenes - sometimes with characters moving to completely different positions from shot to shot.

The story is just ridiculous - as is the script/dialogue.

Then we come to the 'acting'. Oh my word - it is AWFUL. Wooden doesn't come close to describing how bad it is. The main character hardly changes expression - maybe it's because of the plastic surgery - and it seems as though her 'dialogue' had been dubbed in post-production

The stunts/action is just as stupid as the rest of the film.

This is one you REALLY shouldn't waste your time or money on.

If I think a movie is really bad then like most I will write a scathing review. However this film is so bad I feel as if I would be criticizing people with mental disabilities or cognitive delay.

What I cannot understand is how someone in this day and age when every movie is out there for renting or viewing on Netflix etc. they cannot watch them to learn what to do and what not to do.

The dialogue seemed written by 8 to 10 year old kids that have watched every B movie out there and didn't even nail that. The pacing of the actors was terrible also. Lighting? Was there any thought given to that?

I understand budgets can influence the outcome of a movie but in this case no budget could have saved it. If I am writing this it is at least this film can serve as an example to future film makers on what NOT TO DO! Put quality in the script. Be realistic in the production based on what budget you have. Pick quality actors (and not yourself unless you are better than what you find). Lear lighting technique or hire someone that knows it well. It's an essential to film making. Then there is editing! Get an editor and colorist that knows what they are doing.

Yes these things cost money but this movie had more budget than most amateur films I've seen yet many of those surpassed this garbage because their story and intent was foremost.

It's extremely difficult to be the writer, actor, director and producer in any film for extremely talented and experienced film makers. As I said this film would be a waste of time other than it can fulfill a use by being a standard of the abysmal failure.

What a complete waste of 20 minutes watching in order to make up my mind if I should continue wasting additional time watching this hideous thing. This trash is so bad...it's even worse than you can imagine.

So many breaks in storyline and plot, badly written, badly edited. Many instances where you ask yourself "how did we get here?". The actors try and make it work; but, this is probably the worst movie I've seen all year, and I watch a lot of movies! Really not worth your time and poor Gia has lost even more weight since her modelling days and looks almost skeletal, so even less reason to watch. I don't think I've ever rated a film lower.