What They Had

Terrific all-star cast here and a remarkable directorial and writing debut for Elizabeth Chomko. Difficult to watch at times, as the movie depicts the devastating effects of dementia, not only for the person affected but for their families as well.

The dialogue here is incredibly realistic, the characters completely believable, and the interplay between them works exceptionally well. Somehow, Chomko manages to get in some well placed humor along the way.

Overall, just a powerful and poignant drama and I might suggest keeping some tissues close by for the final 20 minutes of the film.

"What They Had" (2018 release; 98 min.) brings the story of a family dealing with Alzheimer's. As the movie opens, we see an older lady getting up in the middle of the night, getting dressed and leave the house while it's snowing hard. Some time later, her husband wakes up, and realizes that his wife Ruth, who has Alzheimer's, is gone. He calls his son Nicky to come help look. Nicky in turn calls his sister Bitty who lives in California. He asks her to come help with the situation, and Bitty along with her daughter Emma fly from California to Chicago. The next day Ruth is found, but it is clear this cannot go on. Or can it? At this point we're 10 min. into the movie but to tell you more of the plot would spoil your viewing experience, you'll just have to see for yourself how it all plays out.

Couple of comments: this is the writing and directing debut of actress Elizabeth Chomko (who does not appear in the movie). Yes, another movie dealing with Alzheimer's. As someone who has deal with this horrible disease up close (my dad deal with extreme Alzheimer's at the end of his life), I am more often than not surprised how "off" these movies are. Take Julianne Moore's "Still Alice" (for which she won a Best Actress Oscar no less): I thought it was a pretty weak movie. In contrast, I was surprised how "on" Chomko has it. The movie focuses more with the fallout onto the family having to deal with Ruth, rather than Ruth dealing with the disease, and that is a smart tack. Along the way, the script also explores the tensions between Nicky and Bitty, between those two and their dad, and between Bitty and her 20 year old daughter Emma. THe movie benefits from a strong ensemble cast, led by Hillary Swank as Bitty and Michael Shannon as Nicky. Beware: this movie is mostly an emotional gut punch, particularly in the last half hour. This isn't the type of movie where you walk out of the theater and think "that was a jolly good time!"

"What They Had" premiered at this year's Sundance Film Festival and it finally opened at my local art house theater here in Cincinnati. The Friday early evening screening where I saw this at was attended okay but not great (about 10 people). I can't see playing in theaters very long. For that the movie is too downbeat. But hopefully this can find the wider audience it deserves when it becomes available on other platforms. If you have an interest in Alzheimer's, or simply want to see a good drama, I encourage you to check it out, be it in the theater (if you still can), on VOD, or on DVD/Blu-ray, and draw your own conclusion.

Having lived this life with my Mother, it hits close to home. My Mother was diagnosed with dementia back in 2008. This movie brings it all back. My Father was relatively healthy up till the end in 2010. My Mother on the other hand became lost in her own thoughts. Not knowing us kids and I would love to think she still recognized my Father. My Mother passed in November of 2010 and my Father in June of 2010. I remember my Dad saying that once my Mom went into the dementia/alzheimer care ward, he felt like it was as lonely as when he was in the Navy back during WWII. He never recovered and died broken hearted. This movie hits home. You can try to hold out. You can try to care for your loved one but, once the veil cover the mind, it's just sad beyond words. I talked more at my Mothers funeral than I could while she was alive. The disease just drains the individual and caretakers and devastates the loving people around them. Very sad movie. Having lived this it does strike a nerve and a lot more. I think the only take away is this, love the people around you and don't let go no matter how hard it gets.

Greetings again from the darkness. "Til death do us part." Only far too often, long term marriages are not broken by death, but instead by memories being cruelly erased through disease. Alzheimer's and Dementia are dreadful diseases, even in the early stages. Writer-Director Elizabeth Chomko uses her feature film debut not to analyze the specifics of these diseases, but instead to focus on the incredibly personal and emotional fallout they produce.

At first glance, Bridget (Hilary Swank) seems to have figured things out in life. She's a California career woman married to a successful man (Josh Lucas), and their daughter Emma (Taissa Farmiga) is a college student. Slowly, the truth is unfurled - much of it after she receives a frantic call from her brother Nick (Michael Shannon) back home in Chicago. Their mother (Blythe Danner) is missing, having wandered out into a snow storm wearing her pajamas. Bridget and her daughter Emma hop on a plane and land in the middle of a huge family ordeal. See, Nick is exhausted from being the caregiver, and believes the best thing for their mother (and for him) is to move her into an extended care facility. Dad (Robert Forster) is adamant that she remain home with him, where she (and he) are most comfortable.

Of course, the turmoil doesn't end there. Bridget is in a loveless marriage. Emma has been evicted from her dorm for drinking. Nick's long-time girlfriend has booted him to the backroom of the bar he owns. Bert, the father, is unwilling to accept or even discuss surrendering the life he's known for decades. Ruth, the mom, is as apt to make a move on her son as to remember her daughter's name. Contrasting personalities abound in this house. Despite having power of attorney, Bridget is still intimidated by her bullying father, and seems to have no empathy for the burden carried by Nick. It's all very messy - just like a real family, and filmmaker Chomko revels in it.

It's so wonderful to see Robert Forster in such a hefty role. These days, he's typically relegated to a tertiary character where he mostly frowns and grunts. Not this time. He is at once a bullying force within the family, and an elderly man treading on fragile ground. He belittles his grown kids by calling his bar owner son a "bartender", and having coerced his daughter into marrying a man for security. Mr. Forster nails the role, as does Michael Shannon as his irksome son. Shannon is one of the best actors working today and he is mesmerizing with his snap backs - sometimes funny, sometimes mean, sometimes both.

There is some horrible relationship advice served up. The family philosophy is "pick somebody you can stand, and make a commitment", as there's no such thing as "bells and whistles". It's not the romantic chatter most movies provide, but it plays to the complicated bond between parents and kids (of all ages). Director Chomko brilliantly and accurately handles the gut-wrenching effects of Alzheimer's. She embraces laughter as a coping mechanism, and reminds us to enjoy the rare moments of clarity - those times a parent can remember who you are. There are a few cringe-inducing moments of mushy melodrama, but for the most part, Ms. Chomko delivers.

This disease affect directly or indirectly every person an planet earth. either you have it, or in your family,or in your neighbourhood or you work with them like i do, its like an everlasting earthquake to experience.this film tells a very well structured story about a woman with dementia, though not too seriously beaten yet, i guess on 15-25 on the mmst scale, about her loving husband and their children and grandchildren. reminisence are a keyword to the story, and it reminds me a lot of how it was when my dad and granddad went through a very fast development of the disease, and how responsibilities fell on the one living nearest and how that damaged a lot of our family dynamics. i shall admit that i was not the nearest to my dad neither in distance or true relations,and backed out rather quikly, but thats another story....

what i miss in these kinda movies is the lack of fun, because there are actually a huge amount of comic situations when caring for my own, but especially when working with old demented persons. what i can say is that they are as different as fingerprints, there are no fasit whats correct,so there are many walls to smash your head against believe me.

i like the acting ,its not overexhaggerated,just very truthfull. the music and filmography are very nice. the start sequence when mum walks away in the snow are just beautiful.

i give it an eight,you may give a star too cause its recommended