What They Had

Greetings again from the darkness. "Til death do us part." Only far too often, long term marriages are not broken by death, but instead by memories being cruelly erased through disease. Alzheimer's and Dementia are dreadful diseases, even in the early stages. Writer-Director Elizabeth Chomko uses her feature film debut not to analyze the specifics of these diseases, but instead to focus on the incredibly personal and emotional fallout they produce.

At first glance, Bridget (Hilary Swank) seems to have figured things out in life. She's a California career woman married to a successful man (Josh Lucas), and their daughter Emma (Taissa Farmiga) is a college student. Slowly, the truth is unfurled - much of it after she receives a frantic call from her brother Nick (Michael Shannon) back home in Chicago. Their mother (Blythe Danner) is missing, having wandered out into a snow storm wearing her pajamas. Bridget and her daughter Emma hop on a plane and land in the middle of a huge family ordeal. See, Nick is exhausted from being the caregiver, and believes the best thing for their mother (and for him) is to move her into an extended care facility. Dad (Robert Forster) is adamant that she remain home with him, where she (and he) are most comfortable.

Of course, the turmoil doesn't end there. Bridget is in a loveless marriage. Emma has been evicted from her dorm for drinking. Nick's long-time girlfriend has booted him to the backroom of the bar he owns. Bert, the father, is unwilling to accept or even discuss surrendering the life he's known for decades. Ruth, the mom, is as apt to make a move on her son as to remember her daughter's name. Contrasting personalities abound in this house. Despite having power of attorney, Bridget is still intimidated by her bullying father, and seems to have no empathy for the burden carried by Nick. It's all very messy - just like a real family, and filmmaker Chomko revels in it.

It's so wonderful to see Robert Forster in such a hefty role. These days, he's typically relegated to a tertiary character where he mostly frowns and grunts. Not this time. He is at once a bullying force within the family, and an elderly man treading on fragile ground. He belittles his grown kids by calling his bar owner son a "bartender", and having coerced his daughter into marrying a man for security. Mr. Forster nails the role, as does Michael Shannon as his irksome son. Shannon is one of the best actors working today and he is mesmerizing with his snap backs - sometimes funny, sometimes mean, sometimes both.

There is some horrible relationship advice served up. The family philosophy is "pick somebody you can stand, and make a commitment", as there's no such thing as "bells and whistles". It's not the romantic chatter most movies provide, but it plays to the complicated bond between parents and kids (of all ages). Director Chomko brilliantly and accurately handles the gut-wrenching effects of Alzheimer's. She embraces laughter as a coping mechanism, and reminds us to enjoy the rare moments of clarity - those times a parent can remember who you are. There are a few cringe-inducing moments of mushy melodrama, but for the most part, Ms. Chomko delivers.

Terrific all-star cast here and a remarkable directorial and writing debut for Elizabeth Chomko. Difficult to watch at times, as the movie depicts the devastating effects of dementia, not only for the person affected but for their families as well.

The dialogue here is incredibly realistic, the characters completely believable, and the interplay between them works exceptionally well. Somehow, Chomko manages to get in some well placed humor along the way.

Overall, just a powerful and poignant drama and I might suggest keeping some tissues close by for the final 20 minutes of the film.

The Universe brought me this film on a flight from San Diego to Dallas on my way to visit my 90+ year old parents downstate Illinois. My Mother had been in the hospital, and my Dad requested my assistance. What a blessing to bring my Mother home the next day. She suffers from dementia. They too live in the same house and it is the issue for my Dad and brother who lives in town and usually cares for them. Superb acting from all, as expected. Chicago in winter spectacular. I was lucky. I needed this now, as would anyone in the similar situation.

This film tells the story of a family struggling to cope with the impact of dementia.

The poster makes me think it's a romantic comedy, but it is almost the polar opposite of that. It is quite a sad story because it tells a heart wrenching story. The portrayal of dementia is brutally realistic. It is sad to watch, and it will touch many viewers for sure.

What I had (ha-ha), was some time to kill before going to a screening of Wildlife yesterday so I decided to squeeze this film in before the showing. Saw the trailer for this and it looked pretty standard but I'm always game for films that depict mental health and the impact it has on others. The film also boasts a really wonderful cast and I had to think that the film would at the very least halfway decent. Its more than decent, I actually had a good time with this. It mixes a bevy of emotions but hits exactly the right notes when it needs to.

The film is about two children who come together with their mom and dad around the holidays. Their mom is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and its tough for her to remember her own children and her husband. The family have a lot of issues to resolve as they clash heads on what to do with their mother and their unspoken issues with their hard headed father. The film stars Hilary Swank, Robert Forster, Taissa Farmiga, Blythe Danner, and of course Michael Shannon in one of my favorite performances he's ever done.

The film is actually hilarious in many parts, especially through Michael Shannon. He plays a dead pan sarcastic brother/uncle and his comments made my day. There's just a good deal of humor involving the characters despite the film being emotionally heavy as it deals with a disease that impacts a family so greatly. As expected, the talented cast is perfect in this film. Forster and Swank in particular really showcase their talents. Even Blythe Danner playing the mom; she's always so happy and cheery despite the fact that she can hardly remember anything.

I think I'm most impressed by Elizabeth Chomko's script. It balances everything well. The script is simple but has a lot of heart and dimension to it. This isn't a film that's going to get a lot of buzz as it came out very limited, but I think its a very enjoyable effort. If you're a lover of film and have some time to kill, go for it. Its not an essential watch but go see the character and family dynamics on display here.

7.5/10