American Guinea Pig: The Song of Solomon

Where do I begin with this pathetic third installment of the American guinea pig films. The horrendous acting or the lamest dialogue ever written. I felt insulted for being tricked into watching this C-movie. I wish I could remember the reviewers name who actually said this was a pretty good film because I would put his ass on blast, He needs to quit giving advice immediately because he has no clue when a film is a crock of Sh$%. One of these user reviews stated this film was far fetched but that was too kind for this abomination. How can a movie even be made about priests performing exorcisms without the writers or directors who are obviously not religious do no research on the topic at hand. I mean the lords prayer was the only prayer said through the whole movie and they did it 10 times as if a priest only knows 1 prayer (Our father who art in heaven) That's a dead giveaway to anybody who worships that you are not well versed in God's word, And for a priest to appear in that fashion crushes any belief that he possesses faith. The special effects were the worst I've seen from the guinea pig collection long drawn out moans and character reactions were abhorrent and comical at best and it really does a disservice to the first "American Guinea Pig" which by all accounts was the best one because atleast it attempted to look some what real with an OK dialogue but if this is the first Guinea pig film someone gets to see they will never attempt to watch another. I forced myself to sit and watch these 82 mins. Of my life being wasted because I wanted to be totally sure this atrocity was from start to finish and I was right. At one point I broke out into laughter because the possessed girl started singing which I guess was the song of soloman and all of a sudden it turned into a musical. Please do yourself a favor and do not waste almost an hour and a half watching this way below average pile of garbage because that's why I wrote this review to save you from wasted time. And yes you are welcome in advance.

I'm a huge fan of Guinea Pig so i've decided to start watching American Guinea Pig as well. And... this one is... something... it has a nice idea to show creative gore scenes and possession but the acting and story kinda makes it fall flat for me. The actors and actresses just kinda feel stale and lifeless.

It did have some pretty horrific gore scenes though. But a few scenes were dragged out, for instance, the intestine vomiting scene lasts a good ~5 or so minutes. Really could've been cut shorter but they dragged it out so it didn't shock as well for me.

It's a nice love letter to Guinea Pig but don't expect anything amazing.

Very disappointed it's to far fetched &so far away from a proper exorcism it's unreal!! To much holly wood & not enough realism. very dissapointed with this movie

I made it 50 minutes and turned it of. Everything ab out this was so, so bad. They would have done much better if they had just taken the easy path and tried to make this a comedy. I think the person who played Mary was the best actor, and she was not that great. Everything about this was equally awful. The items the priests were wearing as well as their cleric jewelry and other items they adorned or used look like halloween costumes. I guess they weren't the worst costumes I'd seen, but, still awful. And the scenes that required anyone to speak anything other than English.. again, awful. It looked like they probably did their best to nail those lines during filming, but sound was quite obviously dubbed for the non-English lines, and you could tell by the way it sounded that it was dubbed and voiced over.

This is probably a 1 or 1.5 but honestly out of the kindness of my heart I gave it 2 stars for the simple fact that at least there was consistency! Consistently awful.

Could a film be much worse?... Ummm NO. I won't reiterate what's already been rightfully said about, the acting, stealing of scenes from other films ect. It's all true. And almost impossible to sit through. I'd give it a negative number except for the trooper performance by the actress trying to make something out of leftovers. I'm sure you'll have to see it now, but do yourself a favor. Find the boots or, as many have had their fill quickly, used copes for a couple bucks. Move along nothing to see here