Death of a Child

It's a different ending, I am very lucky in that way but I actually understand why these people forgot their children in a car. Because I forgot my daughter at dancing school for an entire day. When I was in my 20s, I was out on my own for the first time. I was working a full week of 45 to 53 hours a week on top of taking care of my 8 year old. My ex husband (her stepdad) and I weren't living together. And when he was around, he was very abusive. I was just TIRED. Mentally, physically, spiritually tired. I get a call on a Saturday and my daughter's dancing school says hey, we're closing in half an hour, can you come and pick up your daughter. I said wait she's not in her room? I went into her room, nope, she wasn't in there. I was supposed to pick her up several hours earlier. I didn't even realize I had left her there. It's just an exhaustion that, unless you live it, you can't understand it. I'm just lucky (is that the right word, I don't know) that it wasn't while she was younger and it wasn't in a car. Most people are afraid to talk about how tired we all are or how mentally unwell we are. And we don't want to admit we "forget" our children I made it a point after that dancing school incident and all of these news articles to triple check my car. I even used to call my then husband and ask where the kids are and had him double check me to make sure I brought them where they belonged and picked them up. I was always afraid I would leave my boys in the car. People say put your purse in the back seat, when you're that exhausted, you forget your purse. Some days I used to look down in a panic worried I didn't put on pants and I was outside without pants. There is an exhaustion so so so deep that only some of us understand. I feel so sorry for all of these parents that this was there outcome. Why them? Why these parents? Why these children? There are no real answers.

Perhaps you have to be a parent to understand this film. My children are all four-legged and furry. However, I am an adult with many responsibilities, and I can't comprehend how much of a fog you would have to be in to leave your child, or to "forget" your child, in a car. I watched this film, expecting to be moved, expecting to feel their pain, expecting to understand something about it, anything about it. I felt nothing but disbelief as several continued on as if their biggest concern was jail. I didn't feel their grief. I didn't like any of them, except the mother of the first child whose death they delved into. Perhaps it was a poor job of directing, perhaps I'm just incapable of understanding how one forgets something so important in a vehicle. We got through 40 minutes of this, and I couldn't take anymore. Someone can talk about how they felt suicidal, or how they felt like they couldn't go on, but if I don't "feel" that coming from you, I don't believe a word of it. The death of a child breaks my heart. This documentary just made me sick with rage.

These parents allowing the world into thier hearts and minds... Before, during and after they accidentally end the lives of their own beautiful babies, may be brave but it is not what I want to hear. And it is definitely not entertainment.

However, what I'd love to hear is these babies sing or giggle. I'd love tovstand and holler when hearing their names called at thier graduation ceremonies. I'd love to hear, "Introducing the newlyweds Mr. & Mrs..." But we won't.

Because these parents ended their lives.

And they feel guily.

Oh.

I am a parent. I've had hard times. I've seen rock bottom. Still as a parent you have one SERIOUS responsibility.

It's not luck or lack of luck. It's not fortunate situations or unfortunate situations. It's not timing or other people or lack of education or money or the struggle or getting caught up.

Let's get real.

It's about people who are still willing to exploit their babies, instead of having some integrity and letting the other people who are suffering rest. And yet these parents are still the victim. This is the definition of actions speak louder than words.

If you are lucky to be alive.

I can't thank enough to the people involved of making this documentary for help me and a lot other people to see the reality behind the lives of the families that go through that sad situation , we tend to judge without realizing the pain they are going through. Stay strong, life gets better.

God bless you Doug & Diana and the other couples who also shared their stories. May God use your message to teach and heal others.