Swamp Ape

A modern masterpiece. A god send. A diamond in the rough. All these phrases aren't enough to describe this movie. It's on par with the majesty that was released 15 years ago "The Room". I can not recommend it enough. Geoff Ward is a genius with him being both the writer and director, and still managing to create this wonderful piece of art.

There has never been a film so engaging, entertaining and truly defining of pure cinema. I recommend to any film lover, especially of the horror genre. The graphic violence and sex was difficult to watch but did feel tasteful.

I will be awaiting this directors next vision.

All parts of the movie are bad. The acting is terrible, but you would assume a cheap movie couldn't afford the best actors.Characters are just stereotypes written from the view of a fourteen year old boy. Fat girl is always eating, or talking about food, the guys are just trying to get laid, the girls are there for to be stared at the plot is somehow worse than a mountain monsters episode. The jokes are no, just no. For those who say this is a B-movie, it's not. The room has quotable lines and such randomness that it's funny because of how dumb it is. This is just all things dumb with a movie. Pass on this even if you are curious on how bad it is. If it had some funny lines or interesting story it could make for a random watch while stoned. I could bet that anyone reading this could come up with a better movie with their friends and some iphones.

Knowing from the beginning this wasn't gonna be a Oscar worthy movie, I was pleasantly surprised. Just the right amount of puns, quips, sarcasm and bad special effects makes for a fun viewing. Although I did want more gruesome death scenes. At just under an hour it gets to the story quick and doesn't pad it's run time with stock scenery footage or bad transitions/wipes. Will recommend to friends.

With a title like SWAMP APE, how could one NOT be entertained? Well, like this.

A group of college students accompany their professor into the Everglades. Along the way, they visit a souvenir shop in order to spout some of the most brain-deflating dialogue ever written. Thankfully, such banter never stops. Of course, such mindless chatter simply must be coupled with "acting" that can only be described as vastly non-scintillating.

Once they arrive in the actual swamplands, our first question is, "Where the hell is that ape, so he can start killing these people?!". Sadly, the beast is apparently busy elsewhere, perhaps in some other movie, allowing our human cast to further exceed their expiration dates.

After several more stretches of plotless nothingness, the title creature arrives. Limited madness ensues, including the incredible "swamp ape erectile dysfunction" sequence!

Whew!

At only 59 minutes in length, this movie seems eternal. Recommended for only the stoutest of sub-sludge cinema enthusiasts...