Graveyard Stories

I really dislike horror "Legend" Lloyd Kaufman, so when his face immediatly popped up I expected the worst. The man really is the pits.

Oddly the film has two wrap arounds which is bizzare, one with Kaufman and the other with Jim O'Rear. Doesn't take a genius to tell which I preffered.

I can only assume Kaufman was brought into add some star power to this low budget effort, when really it takes credibility away from the film!

This horror anthology is made up up 5 tales including a masked killer, a mummy, a black magic doll, a hungry goblin and ghosts haunting a dirty cop.

None of the tales are bad, but none are good either including the wraparound story.

There are plenty of great horror anthologys out there, this isn't one of them.

The Good:

Passable stories

The Bad:

Kaufman

Ropey sfx

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Kaufman needs to retire

I can't believe this even qualified as a movie. Movies typically have a larger budget than $10. That's most likely what they paid the actors (together) so this explains why it looks like this was filmed illegally without permits and with VHS camcorders. This movie is hands down the worst I've ever seen in my entire 48 years of life. I've seen better acting at a 4th grade Christmas play. Not one (1) of these people should even be considered actors because that is the last thing any of them are. The performance is as horrible as the storylines and in truth is the only horror you will see in this one hour and fourty one minutes of your life that you will never get back again.

If you actually came out of pocket to see this nonsense you should file a lawsuit against the entity that took your money for insulting your intelligence and defrauding you claiming it to be a movie. If they spent more than one hour filming this fiasco it certainly doesn't reflect it in this thing. They should be ashamed of themselves for even putting this out as something they thought the public would enjoy.

If this "movie" receives just one good review it's only because it came from one of the producers.

These two so called horror legends, Lloyd Kaufman and Jim O'Rear bring to you this so called "horror" movie. It looks like the local amateur dramatic socity have put on a show for the local village. The actors are hamming it and the dialogue makes the complete thing wooden. This lame and seriosly collection of tales look more like a home movie. Five tales of "horror" with a slasher, a mummy, some mad dolls, a troll, a bad cop, surely something must be scary. The thing with any anthology of stories is that if one is bad, you can always move on to the next one. I'm sorry but these tales don't deliver the shocks that you would expect from a horror movie. The highlights are : a "mummy" who looks like he's covered in toilet rolls who kills a guy. Was that tomato soup pouring out of this mouth? Some mad dolls peeking round corners on the end of an arm. I'm sorry it should come with a warning. AVOID!!! bcarruthers-76500

This anthology is fun and if you're a Kaufman fan it's even more fun. If you're not a Kaufman fan might be a good time to try and watch his classics Poultrygeist and Toxic Avenger among others. Grab a big bowl of buttery greasy popcorn, add beer, soda or whiskey and enjoy yourself. Great for a night of Netflix and chill with your significant other. I met Lloyd Kaufman and he is the last of a dying breed of Great B Horror movie writers, producers, directors and actors. ENJOY!!

I've seen some bad movies in my time but I'm sorry but this movie has to be the biggest waste of time and money in the annals of movie history. This lame, cheesy "horror" anthology looks like a local amateur dramatic society has put on a show for the local villiage to entertain them. The acting is so wooden, they look like a bunch of dolls walking around in slow motion and the dialogue makes you want to cringe. Did they get these actors out of a lucky bag? If they did these "candies suck." The scenes with the toilet rolled covered growling mummy who kills the guy who has tomato soup" pouring out of his mouth and those "evil" dolls poking around the corner on the end of someone's arm show you just how bad this movie is. In fact it should come with a health warning: AVOID: Do not waste your time!!! bcarruthers-76500