En frygtelig kvinde

After watching Amanda Collin in Raised By Wolves, I wanted to see some of her other work. I saw this was available for free on Amazon Prime and the trailer looked good, so I was happy to check this out.

Based on the title, and sinister cover photo, I expected Marie (played by Amanda Collin) to be some kind of devious sadist who enjoyed webbing a weave of evil. But that's not what this film is. And to be honest, I'm not even sure if I would call her "horrible." Perhaps that's because so many of her manipulative behaviors are commonplace and somehow not condemned enough in modern culture.

At the crux of this film lies an all too common relationship with a heavily unbalanced power and personality dynamic. Aggressive women like Marie are toxic, manipulative, and abusive for men like Rasmus. Men like Rasmus would be better with a woman with a different kind of feminine energy.

Despite almost always getting her way, Rasmus doesn't give Marie what she wants, which is a confident man who shares his life with her. She doesn't want to be with a man whose only life is her. With each concession and roll over that Rasmus makes, the less respect she has for him.

This starts to come to a head on their museum date, where Marie articulates the problem in the relationship. Tired of Rasmus lacking a backbone, and unwillingness to confront it, she does it for him.

"Are you afraid of me? It just seems like you're afraid. You walk on eggshells around me. I can't stand it. I don't know what I've done to you. That's why I am asking you. You tip toe around me, and you act like a little puppy. Why do you have to do that? Why can't you just be yourself?"

Both men and women have been in relationships with this unequally yoked dynamic, and this familiarity should cause some introspection. Perhaps we can see how we have been horrible to others or accepted horrible behaviors from others out of fear of losing a relationship. I enjoy films like this because it holds a mirror to us, and for those looking to grow, it challenges us to do better.

I knew it would attract a bunch of loser misogynistic men and some weird women who also hate women. I read from someone that the director was also sounding like a misogynist in his tour blaming all on women in relationships.

Right now, I am watching a lot of films about any type of relationship dysfunction. This is not a gender issue. If you are like Rasmus, either have no goal or specific trait in life, or you have one but never stand up for yourself, and get attracted to dominant characters like her *it could be a man too* then you are used like a door mat.

This director's 'speak no evil' was about asserting yourself and your boundaries, this type a couple and their daughter were harmed as a result of their lack of trust in their own instincts, overlooking red flags, self-doubting about right or wrong, being too kind.

Same thing in this film, but this time, the dynamic is not friendship but a romantic relationship of 1-to-1.

I believe this recent triology is about boundaries, regardless of gender or the nature of relationship. I like it in that sense, but I wish he could show a bit more sensitivity over the title knowing some kind of men will use this to criticise and attack women.

...she breaks the fourth wall twice just to let us know that she knows she is horrible too. Ok, got it, now what was the point of that? There is no depth to the characters, they were all good and engaging actors but they were all playing strictly one note ciphers - most likely the intention of the director, to get the audience to fill in the gaps from their own perspectives so the film can be considered deep and introspective, instead of just what it really is, shallow and superficial with obivous stereotypes - the harried husband and the harridan wife, ok, got it, and again, I ask, now what was the point of that?

Well - according to the Bibel they are! Eve let herself seduce by the snake in eden and ate the forbidden fruit - yet Adam did nothing to stop neither her nor himself of doing so! So who is in fact the evil of the two?

This is exactly the dilemma in this new brilliant danish movie. A young man falls in love with a young attractive woman and soon find - not only his appartment - but also himself changed completely upside down. Soon not only all of his stuff, hobbies and friends are secondery in the will of his newfound love. The very man he once was seems to be too.

Are women simply manipulating and evil or are men simply to weak to finally say: enough is enough?

Well - I will let you (and your partner) be the judge of that. Not matter what your conclusion will be. This movie is a must see!

"A Horrible Woman" directed by Christian Tafdrup is an utterly realistic depiction of abusive relationship tendencies, seen through the perspective of protagonist Rasmus.

Both leads deliver convincing performances of these aspects of human behavior, and the abuser's gender is not solely important in my view. Much more so are the psychologically regressive and detrimental forms of behavior that are presented, and which both the film's characters and we as viewers are forced to reflect upon.

I think this is an intelligent drama shedding light on some of the unhealthy habits and patterns that many of us have come across in life, and without relying on cliches, the film concludes open-endedly.