Secret Housewives

I Love Lifetime movies. If my t.v. isn't on a true crime show then it's on LMN. Most of the time there will be dramatic acting beautiful houses and lots of botox, you know, all the typical Lifetime movie traits but this was pretty good. The lead actress Breanna brown absolutely killed it! She was so good in this movie I just wanted to hold her and tell her she will be ok. She re

This story follows an upper-class woman, her family, and her four friends surrounding the time that one of the friends was throwing a divorce party and gaining her ex-husband's wealth and house.

I would like to first state that I hate the idea of divorce parties and was immediately disgusted when that was revealed. Perhaps one of the stars that I took off was due to that. Secondly, I would like to state that an animal is portrayed as passing here so if you (like I) am triggered at that sort of thing (albeit there is no violence nor anything graphic/gory about it; just the concept itself) then you might understand why I basically took off another star for that.

Concerning the actual meat of the movie, it tipped my score in a relatively favorable direction (despite the snobbery). The scenery is Lovely, the actresses are pretty, it had a fairly dynamic plot, and for the most part kept me interested in it throughout.

The characters are pretty unlikeable and it made it hard to connect with them to like them. I have a distaste for them but then again I believe that was probably intentional and the writers followed through on it.

The movie follows the protagonist girl and her friends giving each one of them a narrative surrounding the time frame of the party and onward. The creators did this by writing the character's name in fancy script in white upon a black screen, which would then cue into the said character's story. Now this is all nice and dandy but the actual transition was a little sloppy, with it taking me at least one or two of the character's stories to actually realize we were going back in time. I believe this to be the most apparent and one of the greatest blunders of the movie: perhaps a rewind or a fade to white would give the audience the obvious impression that the movie is indeed revisiting the story through another character's eyes and not just the story continuing in a linear fashion. Like I said it eventually becomes apparent but it generates confusion.

The story indeed has some nice twists and turns, and I could honestly say it was fairly unpredictable, which lends to it being interesting. I guess that despite the disgusting divorce party, bringing an animal into the chaos, and the fact the protagonist leaves their trash cans right in front of their mail box (given that I am a mail man by trade, it irks me), I could say that this movie is actually worthwhile to be seen and for the most part not a complete waste of time.

I really love this movie a lot of Lifetime movies are about the same thing this movie is just so different I think the writing is brilliant the directing is brilliant I just love it but I give the actors and the directors all 10s across- the-board most movies are about a crazy stalker something like that but this one was totally different loved it

The previous highly rated reviews is laughable. I like my share of Lifetime movies but this is quality and acting on another level of sub-standards if there was one that existed for even Lifetime movies(if it is one). Don't get me wrong I tried to give this a chance but it was that horrible. I've watched movies with actors who weren't well known either and the acting was great but this was not THE one. I couldn't even watch more than 10 minutes with the awful acting. The star was for the house. I loved the house where it was filmed at. Pass on this movie unless you like wasting your time. I watched commercials that were better than this.

Secrets in Suburbia (TV Movie 2017) 4.6 out of 10 stars Time to Read: 1:50

*WARNING: ANIMAL DEATH AS PLOT DEVICE, TWO SUICIDES SHOWN IN GRAPHIC DETAIL (SEE CLOSING NOTES)

BASIC PLOT:

Gloria (Brianna Brown) is not a woman to be trifled with, as her husband Phil (Joe Williamson), and her three "best friends", Scarlet, Monica and Kim, will soon come to understand. Kim (Linn Bjornland) and Scarlet (Tara Conner) have both been sleeping with Phil, and Monica (Onira Tares) has been conspiring with him to steal Gloria's money. But you know what they say ....hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

WHAT WORKS:

*GORGEOUS, QUALITY FILM MAKING It's a beautifully shot movie by Damián Romay (director) and Juan Hernández (cinematographer). You just don't see these kind of quality visuals anymore, and it's a pleasure to watch.

*THE FORESHADOWING IS J-U-S-T RIGHT The foreshadowing about who Phil (Joe Williamson) is having the affair with is NOT telegraphed, which is a welcome change from most made-for-tv movies.

*GOOD TRAILER, GOOD COVER ART

WHAT DOESN'T WORK:

*NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATHS DON'T KILL THEMSELVES If the intimation is, Scarlet (Tara Conner) kills herself because her oxys are gone, give me a break! People with that kind of money would call up a concierge doctor, and get well. Or they'd check themselves into the finest private rehab money can buy, but they DON'T KILL THEMSELVES!

*IT'S A BIT SLOW The pacing is a little bit off, it feels a little slow at times.

*HURTING/KILLING ANIMALS SHOULD NEVER BE USED AS A PLOT DEVICE - full stop. A dog is killed as a plot device, be warned.

*MOST WOMEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WHEN THEIR HUSBAND TURNS DOWN SEX It means an affair, and women know it. Gloria (Brianna Brown) would know it too.

*ANTIFREEZE POISONING SHOWS UP IN AN AUTOPSY Ethylene glycol causes acidosis, optic nerve damage, nervous system depression, damage to the kidneys, resulting in stones and crystals, and finally shutting down renal activity altogether. Anyone young, without an obvious cause of death, would have an autopsy. The coroner would find the above markers, which would lead to chemical testing. In other words, YOU WOULD GET CAUGHT!

*WHY DOES PHIL NEED TO KILL GLORIA IF HE'S FOUND A WAY TO EMBEZZLE HER MONEY? If Phil (Joe Williamson) and Monica (Onira Tares) have found a way to embezzle Gloria's money, why do they need to kill her? Also, it's a bit problematic they don't resolve Gloria getting her money back.

*NEITHER PHIL, NOR MONICA HAVE ACCESS TO GLORIA'S ACCOUNTS and that means, they wouldn't be able to embezzle, especially ten million. Banks keep track of large transactions, and they would have alerted Gloria to suspicious activity.

TO RECOMMEND, OR NOT TO RECOMMEND, THAT IS THE QUESTION:

*This is a fairly decent made-for-tv movie. It is beautifully shot, with lots of great visuals. The pacing is a bit slow, and there are quite a few plot holes, but overall, it's a decent time waster.

CLOSING NOTES:

*I don't believe in trigger warnings, but as someone who has had many suicides in my life, I think it is appropriate to warn others, if they are depicted in movies or TV shows. Some visuals can set you off, and this movie has two graphic suicides, and an unneeded animal death (as a plot device). The animal death is unnecessary, and should have been eliminated. If these things are a trigger for you, please skip this movie. And as always, if you need help: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.

*This is a made-for-tv movie, please keep that in mind before you watch\rate it. TV movies have a much lower budget, and so your expectations should be adjusted.

*I have no connection to the film, or production in ANY way. This review was NOT written in ANY way by a bot. I am just an honest viewer, who wishes for more straight forward reviews, and better entertainment. Hope I helped you out.