Crispy's Curse

Well that was an evening I'll never get back. Don't waste your time & money. The 'actor' who plays the clown is so wooden I'm surprised he's not got woodworm!

After an accident while on tour, a Christian heavy metal act finds themselves in the middle of a crime spree committed by a killer clown spirit intent on taking revenge on those who wronged him while he was alive, and are forced to team up with paranormal researchers and a psychic in town to stop it.

This one is among the worst that the indie scene has to offer. Part of its myriad of problems is the chaotic plotline that just feels like random scenes thrown together with no clue how to piece them together. The random nature of what's going on here, from the metal bands' relationship with the psycho or the purpose of the paranormal investigators who are brought into this one through inane means, keeps them involved in the crimes for no reason whatsoever and fills in the gaps with what feels like improvised sequences. Trying to show the paranormal team and the detectives solving the crimes by insulting each other or the random shots of the band going around preaching to anyone causes a scattershot and random storyline. There's also the overbearing issue here which is the unfunny comedy that's attempted in the film. The hamfisted jokes about the unprofessional police behavior at the crime scenes, the back-and-forth banter about the misguided religious bands' lyrics or the flaming homosexual who borders on outright insulting with the over-the-top nature of his portrayal are all intended to be funny. Instead, they come off as painful, much like the random inserts showing people encountering the group or the clown and get insulted by what screams first-draft jokes at best or even improvised sequences. This is all cringe-worthy to sit through and not in the slightest bit funny despite all attempts to make it seem so, and the overlong running time all add up with this one. The other underwhelming feature here is the unbelievably lame attack scenes that are missing all the payoffs to their supposed setups. The clown is a major part of this, being blessed with such a thick accent his puns are lost in a sea of slurred speech while the motivation for the rampage is revealed so late it barely registers and isn't unique in the first place. What fun this could've had with the goofy and silly attack scenes of having piranhas placed in a bathtub, a victim folded into a balloon animal or a bizarre contraption that will blow someone's head off all could've been fun had any of it been shown yet the off-screen antics here prove unsatisfactory and distracting. All in all, there's little need to watch this one at any point.

Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Language, Violence and constant drug use.

I went into this with very low expectations. The humor was quirky, the deaths were done relatively well with practical effects, and the characters become increasingly charming as the movie goes on.

I'd like to see a film where. The same characters are reunited to combat another strange situation or villain!

Had the pleasure of attending the premier of John Williams' third feature film, following on from last year's hugely enjoyable 'The Slayers'.

The film charts the resurrection of an evil clown, Crispy (played with enthusiasm and energy by Daniel Cubley), bent on revenge against all those that have wronged him. This is another enjoyable offering, and further proof of Williams' ability to put all the necessary ingredients together with such a small budget. Give him a budget of note and watch this guy fly.

The film isn't without its flaws though. It feels a bit cluttered at times, in as far as some characters appear to perform the same narrative function as others. Also, some of the victims seem to, on the face of it, have no connection to Crispy's vengeful mission. As a consequence, the film seems to lack a little focus and direction at times.

Don't let these minor quibbles put you off though, the film is very funny at times (though it didn't tickle me quite as much as 'The Slayers'), the red stuff (of which there is plenty) accompanies an inventive series of deaths, and there are a couple of stand out performances from the cast. Both Darren McAree as Alon Baptiste and Wes Martin as Pope completely nail their characters and provide a lot of the film's funniest moments. Once again the film is full to the brim of familiar faces from John's previous two films, and a couple of celebrity performances from former Big Brother winner Pete Bennett (who also returns) and Derek Acorah (a fun cameo where he shows he is quite happy to have a bit of fun at his own expense). I also loved a great little 'Slayers' Easter Egg ... Hilarious (if you have already seen The Slayers' that is, otherwise it won't make any sense whatsoever).

I look forward to seeing what Williams has up his sleeve next time out.

Check it out if you have chance.

Where on earth to start with this strange mess? It's awful, beyond awful but that being said there's something almost memorising about it that makes you want to continue watching.

It's pointless talking about anything normally associated with reviews such as character development, sets and dialect as they are all there poor fashion. To put it bluntly... This movie is so BAD it actually becomes a mess of okay.

There's bad acting, a bad story, bad jokes... But it all becomes confusingly okay. Some great one liners hidden amongst the mess.

One last hurrah for the late Derek Acorah.

Wouldn't watch it again, mind.