The Jesus Rolls

We all loved Big Lebowski. It was a masterpiece. And The Jesus was such a great little part of it. But it doesn't warrant this debacle. I could waste your time with long-winded, yammering examples of what's wrong with it, but you can probably already tell. Just watch Lebowski again. Unless you're like me, you haven't seen it for awhile. Personally, I just finished watching it, to cleanse myself of this. Great cast, bad movie.

This is a weird movie that, in a way, reminds me a lot of Joker.

We get solid performances throughout. Turturro and Cannavale are rock solid and just about always are in my opinion. Tautou is an extra manic pixie dream girl here and it really works. We also get a strong cast of cameos and auxiliary characters with some serious star power all delivering great characters. I actually like the character Turturro is playing as well, he's got this zen hippie criminal thing going that I find oddly compelling from him.

Problem is, this isn't "Jesus" and has nothing to do with The Big Lebowski. This movie is desperately missing the Coen Brothers. It's quirky and weird and surreal, like one of their films but it lacks that spark, that little something extra to really make it pop. When you throw that in with this forced, unnecessary sequel/spin-off and it just never feels right. Turturro's character is enjoyable, but it's not at all how I remember Jesus.

Hence the Joker comparison. I think the Joker is a better movie if it's not about THE Joker and I think this is vastly improved if it's got nothing to do with Lebowski. But, we have to live with what we have and not what I wish we had so this is what we get. A movie with a solid core but an absolute wreck of a premise. There wasn't a scene where it wasn't distracting or frustrating and I just constantly wished I could forget this movie's connections, but I can't. All that said, it's solid background fodder I think, it's just not good for anything more than that.

(Flash Review)

The viewer is brought into a snippet of time from when The Jesus is released from prison on a sketchy charge, referenced in The Big Lebowski, as he and his buddy bum around hanging out with a couple older prostitutes, 'using them' and committing petty theft. I can't say there was much of a plot, more of flushing out the character and his world. There are of course a couple bowling scenes and his famous bowling ball lick; not something you'd be doing during COVID19. This severely lacked the level of laughs or witty dialog that The Big Lebowski had not to mention a core story point. I am wondering if the producers will flush out the back stories of Maude, Knox Harrington or the Carpet Pisser. ;-) This was not written by Coen Brothers and it shows even though it tried.

Bear with me for a paragraph. Most people don't know that there was a 1981 sequel to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Brad and Janet returned (portrayed by different actors) in a new story that bore virtually no relation to the original. Fans expected "Shock Treatment" to be "Rocky Horror 2," which it definitely wasn't, so the film quickly vanished into obscurity. However, those of us who were able to overlook the ties to the previous movie were treated to a quirky oddity that presciently spoofed reality television decades before there was such a thing.

I wouldn't go so far as to say "The Jesus Rolls" is ahead of its time, but I can't help but draw comparisons to "Shock Treatment." Yes, Jesus Quintana originated in "The Big Lebowski," but if you're expecting more of the same, you're going to hate it. However, if you can just forget The Dude's adventure and accept this movie for the oddball little dramedy that it is, it's enjoyable.

Jesus gets out of jail, where he's met by his buddy, Peter (Bobby Cannavale). The duo sets off on a small-time crime spree, soon teaming up with hairdresser Marie (Audrey Tautou), and forming an unusual throuple.

Turturro imbues Jesus with a lot of extra dimensions (although frankly, that's something that many fans probably didn't want to see, as there's little mention of his prowess in the bowling lanes). The always-wonderful Cannavale is perfect as his self-centered sidekick. Tautou is charmingly odd as the duo's free-spirited not-girlfriend. And Susan Sarandon deserves an honorable mention for her hilarious and heartbreaking turn as a recently-paroled woman whom the guys briefly encounter. Other reliable actors like Christopher Walken, Tim Blake Nelson, J.B. Smoove, and Jon Hamm all essentially appear in cameos.

The film's biggest problems are that it lacks a strong plot and antagonists ( I've never seen the '70s French film that this was adapted from, but I surmise that's where these issues originated). Basically, it's a road trip movie where strange things happen to our protagonists as peripheral characters come and go. Road trip movies usually have something that the characters hope to accomplish when they arrive at their destination, but motive is largely absent here. Instead, it winds up being more akin to a character study. There's also a question of how much time passes. No major spoiler, but someone is injured at the beginning of the film, and they seem to have miraculously healed long before the credits roll. I only mention it because it doesn't seem to align with something that occurs at the film's conclusion.

The movie's not perfect, and it ain't Lebowski 2, but I was entertained for 77 minutes. Honestly, that's all I can ask of any film.

I can tell You right away that if "The Jesus Rolls" wasn't masquerading as one "The Big Lebowski" spin-off & promising bowling goods on every one of its posters, audience's response would be at least slightly better. I certainly don't know why, but John Turturro went and inserted his iconic character Jesus Quintana in the world of the writer Bertrand Blier - this recipe couldn't have ended in a justified and crowd-pleasing spin-off. And, of course, it didn't.

Despite "The Jesus Rolls" being quite the mess, it's a rather amusing one. The few redeeming qualities include a top tier, doing-their-best, entertaining cast & contrastive, colorful cinematography. Everyone, from John Turturro to Bobby Cannavale to Audrey Tautou, to minor appearances by Jon Hamm and Susan Sarandon, manage to season the movie with some charisma and humor. The biggest problem of all is the marketing device itself, the very fact that this is a "The Big Lebowski" spin-off. Despite Turturro having delivered the memorable character of Jesus 22 years ago, he has made a mistake by choosing to brutally insert him in a story which just doesn't vibe with what a "Big Lebowski" spin-off could've been or should've been. The character himself is still awesome in the hands of Turturro, but he delivers maybe only the half of the amazement he did the first time. "The Jesus Rolls", adapting a lot of Bertrand Blier's material from "Les Valseuses" or "Going Places" which was (still is?) this movies working title, before "The Jesus Rolls". So, based on the aforementioned source material, "The Jesus Rolls" cfeatures a more than fair bit of sex, sexual jokes, sexual vibes and, well, just a lot of sleaze. It's not bad though, it's just that it's the feel of Bertrand Blier and not the brothers Coens. To top it all off, I'll break to You this - the only bowling you'll get to see in "The Jesus Rolls" is in a three minute long scene. That's it, folks.

There's a singular huge flaw behind the filmmakers decisions for "The Jesus Rolls", it's not what it should've been (spiritually a Coens movie) and it's also not what it could've been (a rightfully marketed movie based on the works of Berntrand Blier), but at the end of the day "The Jesus Rolls" is an amusing time killer at the very least. My rating: 5/10