Anal Angels

Aficianados of vintage Brit Porn will get little from this routine ass-centric exercise by one of the genre's least famous purveyors, "Jack Bedford", who even has the temerity to take a possessive credit of the title on screen as if he were Jacqueline Susann or Sidney Sheldon.

It consists of four yawn-worthy vignettes of humping, guaranteed to send the viewer off to the exit, even in his own home. "The Artist" has Danny Mountain pretending to sketch a painting of mulatto model Michelle Banks, before humping her. The set-up is barely there, in a rush to deliver some back-door action.

"Peeping Tom" has an uncredited NonSex extra with binoculars watching Polish girl Eve Lodz across the way. She seduces (in a very awkwardly staged improvised set-up) delivery man Pascal White so the guy will have something to watch.

Opening vignette is called "Anal Pie", merely a dumb title for a Lee Henshaw (billed almost comically as "James Taylor" in the credits) brought a freshly-baked pie by Roxy and then humping her.

Kiera, who doesn't look like the famous porn actress Kiera Farrell, stars in "Personal Trainer" as the PT who services client Mark Marais, he of many an Anna Span diary assignment. Deadly dull.