A Doggone Christmas

Well I'll be doggone... a Christmas movie directed by B-movie legend Jim Wynorski. While not my usual bag, I watched just to see if and how Jim would cram his usual quota of buxom, semi-naked women into a seasonal family film. While he stops well short of any actual nudity, or anything over a D-cup (not counting fully-loaded Gail Thackray in a very minor role), he does manage to sneak in a sexy mom (played by Amy Holt), and some crafty cleavage shots courtesy of Camilla Sharp (Lauren Parkinson), sultry FBI bad-girl in a black lurex catsuit.

As for the actual film, it plays very much like a canine E.T. but with a fraction of Spielberg's budget. Rather than an extraterrestrial with a glowing finger being hunted by the F.B.I, it's a telepathic Jack Russell called Murphy, who, having hopped off the moving train transporting him to a secret lab, seeks refuge with young brothers Jamie and Hugo (Jayden Hedden), part of a gang of kids who just so happen to own BMX bikes. Federal agent Sheppard (Jaret Sacrey) struggles to capture the pooch (mainly because he doesn't want to), so Agent Sharp is called in, using advanced drone technology to pinpoint the missing mutt's location. Meanwhile, the brothers' parents worry about giving their sons a decent Christmas, dad Robert (Rib Hillis) having lost his job as a toy designer.

Despite its obvious budgetary constraints (including iffy green screen work and dodgy After Effects explosions), and a not entirely convincing cast, I still enjoyed A Doggone Christmas, largely because I struggle to not have a good time with talking animals in movies (unless that movie is Furry Vengeance!). Jesse the Jack Russell Terrier is the star attraction here, the dog super-cute in everything he does - it's a bit of a shame that he doesn't get to show off his complete range of skills until the end credits, where he does roly-polies, walks on his front legs, rides a skateboard and juggles flaming torches while balancing on a unicycle (I made the last one up, but it wouldn't surprise me!).

5/10. The lack of power-packed babes in nearly non-existent costumes might disappoint many Wynorski fans, but animal-lovers and kids - the target audience - should find enough to enjoy to make a watch worthwhile. Followed by A Doggone Hollywood (also from Wynorski), and A Doggone Adventure (by director Tony Randel, who gave us Hellbound: Hellraiser II and Ticks).

This is a kids-with-dog B-movie Christmas story that most young children will probably enjoy, and some adults might find amusing enough to watch. It's a typical animal in peril story, with minimal suspense and an unrealistic storyline, but it's not bad for cheap family holiday entertainment.

There is some adult humor that will go over young kids' heads, such as with the government agent dressed liked MCU's Black Widow, who is one of the stereotypical "evil" characters. There's also a school principle who talks like Clint Eastwood's Dirty Harry, which most young people won't get. I'm old enough, and thought the adult humor was somewhat amusing. I did enjoy Lauren Parkinson's over-the-top portrayal of agent Sharp, but thought the excessive cleavage was too much and distracted from the family movie atmosphere. I'm guessing that was included for the adolescent and older male viewers, which isn't my demographic. Other than that, there was no profanity, violence, or other non G-rated issues.

The dog is cute, of course, and the music was also good. The acting overall was acceptable, with the kids giving some of the better performances. On a B-movie scale (not compared against blockbusters), I give this a 5. I probably would have given it an extra star if the director had left out the cleavage.

My children love this film - simple but charming story.

A Doggone Christmas (2016)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Murphy is a Jack Russell Terrier who is on a train heading to a government center. You see, Murphy has a telepathic ability and the government wants to use that to their advantage. However the dog breaks free and lands up in a small town where he is befriended by a couple kids who want a pet but their father is currently out of work. With only days before Christmas the boys must try and help their new dog friend.

A DOGGONE Christmas comes from director Jim Wynorski who is best known for several low-budget horror and sexploitation movies but like his mentor Roger Corman he has proved that he can work in a wide range of genres. I'm really not sure how many people expected to see a kid's movie from him but for the most part the film is a success as long as you don't go into it expecting IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE.

Obviously this movie's target audience isn't a 37-year-old male like me but instead it's aimed at children and having watched countless kid's movies with my own child, I can't help but think the most are going to enjoy this. The story is fairly routine to an adult but I think kids will enjoy the fun setting of a cute dog being chased by some mean and stupid government people. Oh yeah, they can communicate with the dog, which adds even more charm for young viewers.

As an adult, this was at least mildly entertaining and it's at least good enough to where it's worth watching. I thought the kids were charming enough for their roles and there's no doubt that they picked a good dog and one that you can enjoy watching. It was also fun seeing Dominique Swain back in action and one can hope the director and her will do some more films together.

A DOGGONE Christmas isn't a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but it certainly does what it set out to do. The film is charming enough and it's certainly worth a viewing with your kids.

Despite over the top things like a cross between Mrs Emma Peel and Morticia Addams, who sometimes has much less eye shadow than adjacent shots, green screen halo in several shots, and other visual shout outs to popular movies of the past, I was totally charmed.

Fast (if somewhat improbable) action. Requires heavy suspension of disbelief.

Too cute band of little rascals.

You can tell that everyone involved in making this movie had a ball! Tongues firmly in cheeks!

Such a wonderful escapist feel good cheesy silliness that I want to get ahold of a DVD if possible.

My only quibble would be to cast a Border Collie instead of a Jack Russell Terrier as the star.

Or maybe the producers were thinking Kurt Russell Terrier; cute as well as clever.