Escape from Cannibal Farm

Cannibal Farm, where do I even begin? Let's start with the fact that I watch 2 films daily and have been doing so for years. The only time I write online reviews is when I want to warn would-be viewers just how God-awful a movie is before they waste their time (or worse, money) on it. This is only the second time I've ever had to do this. Enough said, right? In occasional attempts at competence, the film sloppily copy/pastes ideas from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Saw, and even House of 1000 Corpses, before launching into cringe-worthy, ear-grating monologues by characters that might as well be too drunk to be able to put together anything resembling cohesive plot clues in this nearly 2-hour cringe fest, but I digress. This movie is so bad that to do a truly in-depth review of it would be an insult to higher thought itself. The films deserves only the requisite amount of frontal lobe activity necessary to ensure intelligent viewers steer clear of it, and nothing more, so, STEER CLEAR! You have been warned.

You only need the first five minutes to experience that uproar.

I really wish they had more of a budget. I get it, its a low budget move, but I dug the story and wanted the look and effects of the movie to match it. The kills were good, even some unexpected jumps. I know this movie takes a lot of its inspirations from movies like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1000, and The Hills Have Eyes but it still felt exciting to watch. This movie is flying pretty low under the radar, and deserves a little more recognition for what it is.

Give me back my $6.99 and then give me $50 for wasting my time watching this terrible movie.

Not too bad of an effort here.

A rehashed story of what we've seen a hundred times but it still felt somewhat different. The acting was pretty decent, if anything all the performances had good effort. This movie drags with side plots so be ready to go mindless for bit.

With all that being said this movie could easily be in the 6 star range if it wasn't for the effects. There were a couple (and I mean literally 2) effects that weren't horrible. This really kills the movie. Had there been a better practical effects team behind this movie it could have easily sat in the 6 star range. With that being said use your imagination I guess!

Overall a solid effort, truly. I was entertained for a free rabbit hole Temu movie.

4/10.