Touch Wood

Given its prominence in so many areas of the Arts, from music to theater and even in a peculiarly provincial way cinema, England's contribution to Adult Entertainment has always been underwhelming. Whenever I visited London back in the '70s I was shocked at how lame the selection of soft-core porn was playing at what locals called "flea pits" (hardcore not permitted at all) and only recently has an outpouring of talented actors and directors finally put Britain on the map (although instantly a case of "body drain" similar to yesteryear's brain drain has set in, with even top star Sam Bently decamping to work for American auteur John Stagliano).

This quaint porn video has a title that reflects the insular, almost laughably "out of it" attitude of local pornographers, in this case guys who decided to remain anonymous: there are credits for makeup and camera but no director, writer or producer listed. In the former colonies we would say "Knock on wood" as a typical superstition, also meaning to jack off. Looking up the Britishism "Touch wood" it supposedly is cockney for "draw blood", but I'm assuming it's meant in the knock mode here.

The escapades revolving around author Renee Richards trying to finish her book are frankly boring, wasting not only her but some other top actresses of the time like Isabelle Ice, Susie Best and Lolly Badcock. The varous sex positons and practices from d.p. and atm to cum-swapping are trotted out, but in vain. Distributor has Erotica in its name but this is generic sex, not erotic material.

The more I see of this level of porn, the more obvious it becomes why it was never exported to the U.S.A.