Taekwondo

Boy, talk about a slow burn! This is a gorgeous to look at film about a group of good looking straight (?) young men who get together for a weekend and spend much of it naked and stoned discussing their previous or next sexual conquests. Thereafter, it isn't really about anything - or did I miss something? We get a sense from early on that Gabriel Epstein "Germán" has the hots for his taekwondo buddy Lucas Papa ("Fer") but the meandering way in which this story progresses makes for a terribly ponderous route to courtship. It isn't that it needs to be end to end sex, it's that it ought to be end to end something! Basically, nothing happens....

It was the film "The Blonde One" that led me to "Taekwondo." I was so taken by that film by Marco Berger, that I was eager to see another. Maybe I should have quite while I was ahead.

The Blonde One is a beautifully crafted film, with a strong plot, and superb acting - coupled with excellent direction and camera work.

Taekwondo didn't live up to my expectations at all. The movie is an hour and 48 minutes - but it easily felt like 3 hours. While there is certainly the eye-candy aspect to this film, with some great shots of some great looking guys, the movie seems s-l-o-w and nearly plotless.

Taekwondo is more like looking in on an adolescent vacation. Guys being guys without parental oversight.

There is some sexual ambiguity and tension between what I would call the two main characters - the owner of the house and his friend from Taekwondo. One might (or at least I did) expect that sooner or later SOMEthing will happen between them. But nothing does. Some interested glances here and there. Some almost-touching closeness. But it's always diffused, interrupted by someone walking in, or by a game that suddenly breaks out among the guys.

We watch the guys shower, swim, play tennis or kick a soccer ball around the tennis court. And the guys seem to sleep a lot. Maybe even they are bored by the lack of plot. They play hide-and-seek. And talk about their sexual conquests with the girls, or ruminate over fidelity, still unsure what their relationships with girls are supposed to look like. And now and again they conjecture on whether this or that one is gay.

The director keeps the film somewhat interesting with nice camera perspectives that often focus on a body part - like a crotch or butt. There are glimpses of bare butts and sometimes guys bare it all. But there's not enough story line to string it together, and the movie is ultimately pretty boring.

If you want to appreciate male beauty then this is your canvas: the torso, the legs, the chest, the thighs; everything is here. This movie is about the art of capturing male beauty at its finest hue. It is slow-paced to make you absorb the beauty. Moments of silence really gives you the chance to absorb what the camera has captured.

As a film that touches on the male relations subject, I found it refreshing how it approached the theme from a non-stereotypical stance. It is about discovering, and getting comfortable with each other, from a minimal dialogue. It is about being present, there and then. This is what I applaud Marco and Martín for. It wasn't about filling the conversation but it was about giving the audience the chance to grow with the characters by appreciating them by getting to know them.

The men in this work of art are just breathtaking; the perfect dose for those who appreciate Latin men beauty. It is an Argentinean film so you really get what Argentina has to offer in terms its accent and its men: the Arab-looking, the Spanish-looking, the Italian-looking, the Swedish-looking, the Russian-looking. Everything!

Where do I even start with this...

The movie is the worst type of movie there is; a film made to look like it had no script, just a bunch of half naked or fully naked guys shooting the breeze for almost 2 hours. There is no real story, aside from the very glossed over part of the two leads being in the same Taekwondo class, but the rest of the movie is as follows;

-Naked dudes swimming -Half naked dudes sleeping -Half naked dudes smoking -Half-naked dudes discussing women -Naked dudes walking around the house -Semi-clothed dudes talking at a dinner table -Dudes put some clothes on when 2 girls arrive

Throughout the whole film, we have one of the main characters, who is gay, and wants to know if his Taekwondo partner (who invented him to this boys outing) is also gay. It takes 1:40 minutes for them to finally give in to the entire purpose of this film, and I for the life of me just don't understand who would find this entertaining. My partner had a theory, though; the director used this film as a reason to hire a bunch of straight actors he just wanted to personally see naked. The same way Hollywood directors add nude scenes with women in their movies, as an excuse to see the people they're attracted to in the buff. Wouldn't hiring an escort be much less work and offer you more bang for oyu buck? I really just don't understand these types of movies.

This really isn't a gay film, especially if you discount the literal last 2 minutes of it. It's a movie about a group of men, which are all straight, doing straight dude things. Nothing about this movie is even remotely gay because none of the characters are gay, and this is really just the type of movie in the genre I can't stand. I don't watch gay films to see a bunch of straight men talking about women as if they've never seen one before in their lives. I have the gym and real life for that nonsense. I watch these movies two see two guys fall in love, and when you can't even be bothered to show me that much, than what did you really accomplish?

A disappointment of a film that missed the mark of what it means to be gay cinema in almost every regard.

In 2014 I thought and wrote of Berger's Hawaii... Berger's use of eroticism is a bit obvious in this. Perhaps because I've seen his moves before, they stand out as a bit contrived.

It seems for Taekwondo the only effort to stretch and evolve has been to up the ante of sexual tension with more men and more (much more) nudity. Again Berger shows us that eroticism is introduced by so much more than sex. Its still an animal notion of combined human attraction, contact and bond. The movie clings to his oft used narrative "will they or wont they" but here it felt reduced to teen angst. I recognized some effort to add questions of machismo, sexuality (as usual) and questions of the bonds of friendship. If you've seen Berger's wonderful "Plan B" or "Sexual Tension" "Absent" or "Hawaii" you've see most of the tricks and many of the shots also used in this movie as well as pacing, shot composition, and narrative exploration before, but in a better movie than this one.