Kingdom of the Northmen: Les guerriers damnés

Yes, it was a ridiculous movie, but you just cannot walk away. It has only BEAUTIFUL WOMEN(what are the chances of that ), MONSTERS, GOOD AND BAD VIKINGS, EVIL MONKS, and a ASIAN WHO KNOWS KARATE. Yes you must leave your brain at the door, but it's action packed and some kind of funny. Lots of twist to keep you on your toes. Give it a look see, you won't forget it

The acting is what you would expect from an 8th grade Christmas play.

The cinematography reminds me of a video off of a iPhone....4s

Poor script, bad writing overall, and an acting class that would do better bagging groceries, makes for a really bad viewing. I find UK TV shows to be superior to US TV shows in nearly every aspect. The same cannot be said for nearly all of the UKs theatrical releases. For every hit you have 20 duds like this one. Now, the US is jut as bad except they produce worldwide blockbusters to offset the poor films.

Want your date to breakup with you and contemplate ritual suicide? Well grab a bucket of popcorn, gallon of coke, 6lbs of candy and how you die from a diabetic coma before she finishes watching this with you, so you do not have to watch her glare of pure hatred, as she starts sepeku in front of you

And yes, I have indeed used the facilities with more drama and better CGI than this horrid film

!BUYER BEWARE!

This is NOT a serious film, DO NOT believe the marketing into thinking this movie is about vikings or the famous siege of Paris in 845, this film is pure fictional and quite frankly bananas!

Luckily I do like a low budget movie from time to time, 'Viking Siege' must be one of the cheapest produced movies out there! I do believe this perhaps to be intentional by the developers among with the sheer amounts of ham passed around the actors, super cheap special effects which boils down to ketchup 'everywhere' with surprisingly a half decent soundtrack.

SO why is this film called Viking Siege? Where is the sieging?

I did enjoy it to be fair, some odd pacing issues toward the middle but I had fun with it. Leave your expectations at the door and you should be able to get through this, this is not for the serious of heart out there, I repeat this film does NOT take itself seriously.

5/10 Oodles that could be improved but a forgivable attempt for a first time director. Less ham next time, ok?

A medieval romp with a posse of vengeful women (from a statistically unlikely village that contains only gorgeous females) planning to kill the monks who enslaved their relatives. Throw in the local Lord in the wrong place at the wrong time, Kung Foo and some double hard Vikings with a mysterious secret and you have the ingredients of a belter of a movie. The effects are average but its a humorous and well paced film able to keep you engrossed throughout. Its not thought provoking, have a subtle script or give strong characterisation but its does not mean to. Its provides enjoyable escapism and it would be pretentious to compare it to some art house play. People who value this sort of film will have fun and those who do not shouldn't watch. Its not great but with a bigger budget it might have been and it is most certainly not a waste of time.

Really enjoyed the pulpy nature of the film, it's just a shame that the branding didn't reflect that, like the old artwork on their website.

Definitely worth a watch if you're into B movie style features.