Exorcism: Haunted Child

This movie is so bad, it's a waste of time talking about it. Although the production value is very good, the lack of scares, script coherence and overall purpose, makes this movie a harakiri experience. It starts of as a ghost story, which turns out to be a prank, that causes a real haunting and then, in the middle of the film, a completely different story starts. Yeah, WTF. Of course, you get your typical long haired-Asian-scary woman trying to scare you, you get your typical ju-on type child and a bunch of "jokes" that would make sense only to mentally challenged 5 year olds from Mars.

To top all the above, there is absolutely no exorcism carried on.

I'd rather watch flies have sex for two hours than watch it again.

When I sat down to watch the 2015 horror movie "Exorcism: Haunted Child", I didn't realize that it was a Vietnamese movie. Not that it mattered, because I enjoy Asian movies. And the fact that it was an Asian horror movie was just all the better, as I also enjoy horror movies quite a lot.

However, this 2015 attempt at a horror movie from writer Anh Tu Hoang was seriously some of the worst horror movie experiences I have sat through in a long, long time. The storyline in the movie was so bland, sluggish and boring that I gave up after 44 minutes of staggering boredom. I just couldn't take anymore of the generic narrative, especially since there was nothing entertaining or scary to be found anywhere in the movie.

Well, I might be getting ahead of myself here, because the acting performances in the movie were scary. I have never seen such wooden, rigid and emotionless acting performances from so many people collectively at the same time. It was as if they deliberately had gone out of their way to cast actors and actresses without an ounce of acting talent in them. In fact, I would say that the movie could be watched just for that alone, because it is a spectacle that has to be seen and witnessed in order to believe. I kid you not, I have never seen such wooden acting performances before.

Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the actors and actresses on the cast list. But then again, Vietnamese cinema is not one where I venture often.

If I have to say one good thing about this ordeal of a movie, then it was that production. They actually had a good enough production value throughout the course of the little more than half of the movie that I managed to suffer through.

Director Ba Vu Nguyen delivered a massive swing and a miss of a horror movie. But to be honest, then the writer didn't exactly provide much of anything worthwhile to work with.

If you enjoy Asian horror movies, like I do, then heed my warning and give this movie a wide berth. How the movie has managed to land a 5.2 rating on IMDb, at this very moment of me reviewing it, is simply beyond my comprehension.

My rating of this dumpster fire of a Vietnamese horror movie lands on a one out of ten stars.