Dickshark

This entire movie is in slow motion, and it's TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG.

I wanted to die after 5 minutes.

Apparently there are different versions of this film as there seem to be versions which differ in length. Several sites/reviewers have pointed out that they watched a version which is about 2 hours 30 minutes. However the version having watched was slight over 1 hour 34 minutes.

As expected this film isn't great but expected something more creative and more over the top given its title. Its clear Bill Zebub isn't exactly trying as these films don't seem too take long to make. "Dickshark" is essentially an low budget adult film of sorts disguised as an artistic indie.

The acting is stale, the comedy isn't funny and the sharks are entirely too fake looking. Based on the plot synopsis before watching, we knew it isn't to be taken serious. Also does not much make sense, as are we to believe the little "shark" in the opening scene is the same one that appears throughout the film and in the end?

Similar to Holocaust Cannibal, this features most of the women appearing nude with silly nonsense dialogue, background music and slow motion fights.

The best thing about this movie ... well is the poster and maybe the tag line. It's actually a shame, because there are things here that you could find funny - if you are in the right mood. Like the director making fun of himself and the nudity this contains and the "erotic movie" genre (with or without horror elements) ... I would not call it acting what you see - but there are some hidden gems in some of the dialog scenes.

The real issue is the other stuff. Well at least for me. I reckon if you are into Heavy Metal you can at least enjoy the music/soundtrack to a degree. That the effects would not have any kind of standard ... I expected that. I can only assume that another reviewer is trolling who praises this ... or anything at all. Also I "only" watched the 2.5 hourse cut and am surprised to read there is an even longer cut here ... I will not watch that under any circumstances ... I'd advice you to save time too.

Let's just call this movie what is and that's porn And not very good porn at that I might add I kinda of expected you might get one partially nude shot and some cutaway sex scenes I guess I was thinking along the lines of dumb fun Like some of the Amityville movies that have gone public domain or other movies along that line This is the first time in a long time I shut off a movie after 10 minutes and that's not something I normally do I will usually sit through a movie no matter how much I dislike it

I'm not sure what I expected But this wasn't it If I wanted to see this kinda movie I'd go to Pornhub instead and probably have a much better time.

I have mixed impressions about this title.

Production is cheap. Lighting and cinematography are dreadful. The pace is glacial, the editing frustrating, and why oh why so much slo-mo?

There's a lot of female nudity, and all the actors are obviously there for the love of it because no-one is taking themselves, the nudity or the film too seriously. They can't even suppress their mirth at times. I can forgive the cheap props, gratuitous boob shots and micro-budget film-making because the ideas expressed are quite high-brow.

Others are complaining about the dialogue. It initially comes across as silly stuff, what seems to be many ad libs, off on tangents and probably a lot was shot in one take. There are gaps in the dialogue, the actors break eyeline, look at the camera or over to where I suspect the script is available to be read off camera. The script is at times frustrating and could have been shot and edited much, much better.

But the thing that surprised me within the eccentric dialogue are the observations and commentary on modern society, such as myths and clichés accepted as fact, the poor discipline in modern education and then, importantly, the call-back to a classic by Mary Shelley.

**Ding!** Dick is a modern Victor Frankenstein, destroyed by his own power and one of his own creations. The dialogue up to that moment has reflected Shelley's themes on the uneducated and the use of knowledge for good or evil. Does Dick even consider science for good or bad, or is the pursuit of science its own reward, as well as an excuse for fondling breasts?

High brow conversation and low brow visuals.

Is this porn? No, female nudity is not porn, besides which there are no male actor's bits seen on the screen. "Dickshark" is a direct descendant of the monster-nudie and nudie-cuties of the 60's. Remember Francis Ford Coppola's first couple of movies - "The Bellboy and the Playgirls" and "Tonight for Sure"? Who could foresee "The Godfather" series or "Apocalypse Now" from those nudie-cutie origins?

I make note of a few minutes dedicated to music credits at the end. I respect Bill Zebub's effort here of one artist promoting other collaborating artists. But Bill, if you read this, please get a fresh pair of eyes to check your spelling before delivering the final product. Mistakes abound!

In summary, if you can endure the glacial pace and many shortcomings in the craft of film-making evident in "Dickshark" there is a high concept running underneath all the boob shots and ridiculous props. .....and it pays to know Mary Shelley's writing.