Manos Returns

Heading out of town on vacation, a group of friends decides to visit a luxury spa but get lost on the way winding up at a weird resort that they learn is the home to a bizarre cult looking to indoctrinate more members and must find a way to stop their nefarious plans.

This one proved to be quite a fun sequel. One of the better elements here is the manner in which they play off the original which has some rather enjoyable features here. That comes from the group on a vacation stumbling across the secret location of the compound, the creepy members of the cult hanging around in their compound and the bizarre dialog they spout which presents them like they're in their own universe separate from the others, everything here creates a highly unorthodox atmosphere which is highly engaging and hypnotic. This is only enhanced by the wholly off-beat energy here featuring the series of encounters involving the female cult members appearing to the different members of the group and tempting them through visions of their bodies or just plain bizarre antics. That leads incredibly well into the finale where the group's separate and distinct plan finds a purpose as it starts in on the ritual scene where it's all incredibly well-done and has a lot to like. Again playing well with the idea of their unusual indictment ritual and other occult antics that provide some fine gore here as they dismember the body in graphic fashion. While that does lead to a bit of a struggle for this one to get going as the bizarre behavior exhibited is the main thing going on here those who aren't into the kooky scenarios might find it full and uneventful until then. As well, the rushed finale manages to be somewhat confusing with how it all plays out with some conflicting concepts and ideas that don't have time to be spelled out properly, these are the few flaws here.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Language.

There is a reason why the original Manos is loved by so many people: it's so bad it's fun. The original Manos is a movie by a man who tried his best to make a good movie, but had zero talent, and, thus, failed miserably. This is something that cannot be copied, or intentionally made. So, any remake of or sequel to such a movie will not have the same charm and appeal as the original. The original Manos is bad, yet never boring. It's VERY entertaining, because, in sheer disbelief, the viewer wonders how on Earth it's possible that a movie ends up becoming that bad! There is something cute about that. The original Manos really is an unintentional piece of art! Not so with Manos Returns. It's just plain bad, that is, boring. I praise the effort of these people for trying to, somehow, revive Manos. Maybe it's a tribute. I feel a bit sorry that I am writing a negative review, but I'm just being honest. I think some things should be left untouched. Manos the Hands of Fate is one of them.

On their way to a "luxury resort" for their vacation, four friends wind up at an innocent-looking, yet sinister abode. Intentional horror and unintentional humor ensue (and vice versa).

MANOS RETURNS ends decades of waiting for followers of the original film, while helping to get us caught up with the main characters. Debbie (Jackey Neyman Jones) is all grown up now, and filled with demonic darkness. The Master (Tom Neyman) remains the pinnacle of pure eeevil personified. Yes, he's rockin' the hand-robe and glaring into our very souls. Torgo (Steven Shields) still wobbles along like the malevolent, bow-legged menace he is, wearing his over-sized jacket, and a mattress stuffed into each pant leg. The Brides are back as well. Their odd nightwear has been updated a bit, and they giggle a lot more. They also eat bugs.

Recapturing the magic of the first film is no small task, but this movie has done it! It's a treat to see Ms. Neyman Jones and Mr. Neyman reprising their infamous roles, and Diane Adelson returning as Margaret / Maggie, Debbie's harried mum! And, for reasons unknown, Don Dohler regular, George Stover is in this movie reading an invisible magazine!

Watch this right this minute!...

This is one of of those films, like the second BirdDemic, that knows that the reason the first film got any acclaim was because of how unintentionally bad it was. Where the first film got a cult following because it was bad, but you know the director was trying the first time, but just delivered something terrible, but so funny it found a cult following. This film tries to be bad/funny and doesn't succeed. Because it tries. It tries to be bad and funny and incoherent. That isn't what made the original the cult film what it is. Being aware of the terribleness is cool. Trying to replicate that into a purposefully funny and bad film will not get you that acclaim again in anyway. It just delivers a boring slog of a retread without any self awareness or humor. The more it tries to replicate and bring humor to it, the worse it got. It would have been better if it found a way to play the original plot totally straight and treated this like a real horror sequel. The comedy would have come from that. Treat this like a real sequel to a 'real' horror film and give us some horror. The comedy would have written itself by just doing that, and the horror moments would have hit hard. Instead it's just a bad attempt to make a bad movie to capitalize on the cult following of the original. It could have been something, but the f'd it up.

The original Manos is widely considered as one of the worst movies of all time. Its famous only because of the creative minds at Mystery Science Theater 3000. But not even those comedic geniuses could make this turkey watchable.

The acting, if one could call at that, it's so amateurish that it's beyond cringe worthy. The three original members of the original Manos who are also in this sequel should be given medals for having to go go through something like this twice.

I actually felt sorry for those people that had to work in this thing, but not as sorry as I was for myself because I wasted over an hour of my life watching this dreck. Don't bother.