Satanic

I made an IMDb account just to review this mind-numbingly boring film. Don't approach this film unless you have a gun pointed to your back: the plot might have worked had it not been for the extremely unlikeable characters. I usually like (or at least, can sit through) crappy horror, but I couldn't even sit through this one. Avoid at all costs.

I only did that because 1 is the lowest point, so I felt generous enough and gave it yet another one!

I watch a lot of underground productions, trying to help the community out, reviewing movies that have no comments, warning people if necessary, advertising for others and so on. Few nights ago I stumbled upon Satanic, I saw who was the lead actress so of course it had to be done. Nothing out of the ordinary for starters, typical moves, acting, plot, until something else decides to happen.

And from nothing much, comes probably around 100 screams in 20 minutes. I actually got a headache from watching this one, and I am not kidding. The reveal itself is horrible, completely useless, just some scenes put there to shock, to allow this movie to call itself a horror. The real horror was in front of the screen, me, bored out of my mind but also trying to lower the volume without leaving the bed. The screaming won. I moved! Like hypnotized! This is all you get: screams, screams, screams. And of course no explanation.

I really wished Satanic was as the poster showed. Far from it. 2 stars! That says a lot. Not recommended.

Cheers!

I was really enjoying Satanic, but it falls under the category for me as another film slain by its own ending.

It tells the story of two young couples on a macabre road trip to see sites of murders and general "Satanic" behavior. Along the way they come across a young runaway who changes everything for them.

Starring Justin Chon and Sarah Hyland it looks the part, is very well written and I was fairly gripped to see quite where this was going to go.

Sadly most of the movie is character development and fluff, when the story really kicks in it's a bit of a blink and you'll miss it situation so suffice to say it has chronic pacing issues.

And then the finale! I do hate it when an ending can kill an up to that point enjoyable film, but here once again we have it. It feels rushed, it feels poorly thought out and as if the creators simply ran out of ideas and tacked some random nonsense on instead.

I should be singing the movies praises right now, the majority of the film is great and in the right hands it could have been something special. Instead this poorly thought out little horror is mediocre and a marker for what should have been.

The Good:

Looks great

Solid cast

Some great ideas

The Bad:

Poorly paced

Falls apart at the end.

The formula is pretty much standard. You take an up and coming young starlet (Modern Family's Sarah Hyland ) and throw her in a B movie. The film gets a bump in eye balls because of her potential star power and she gets to push away her TV star image and see if she has any pull with a wider audience.

On paper it makes sense, and the quality of the movie is almost unimportant. Well, this time the product is one of the most unforgettable films you may never see, and really all the sadder because the 1st ½ of the film did have promise.

The plot is simple - 4 young college students go to LA for a tour of Satanic sites, and my pet cat can guess how it goes from there. The actors have potential, and although Hyland is the star, Steven Krueger is by far the most interesting character, playing a 'nice' jock. His story could have been much more interesting, and they simply toy with his religious nature before forgetting it ever existed.

The director does a nice job building tension (or is it just boring?), until a very sudden and particularly still conclusion. I can't decide if the sound track and back ground noise are cool or super dumb.

The real fall of this movie is that is brings nothing new or interesting to the genre. There is basically 0 explanation and logic to several of the key parts of the film. Good horror is similar to detective films where the audience gets some joy out of figuring out the meanie, and coming up with a theory of how to protect themselves were they in a similar situation. Think of it as a choose your own adventure where someone else is making the choices, and it is fun to think about how things would differ had a character made the other choice. This film robs us of that, and it is why it ultimately fails.

Hello Sarah Hyland, we see you outside your comfort zone. Acting and tension 'B', directing, plot and enjoyment 'F'.

Two young couples heading for a music festival find themselves in a nightmare scenario in Los Angeles after taking a day to check out some of the true crime hot spots in town. While one couple is straight laced and reserved, the other is attracted to Gothic culture and thrill seeking. Peer pressure and bad decisions lead to a nightmare scenario for all four teens. Satanic fits somewhere in between cookie cutter teen horror of the last 20 plus years and a cable television movie of the week. It isn't horrible but probably not worth watching again. If you've ran out of options and don't mind lowering your standards, this one shouldn't have you rolling your eyes too much.