Brit School Brats Episode 2: Rule Brit Tanya

I feel quite out of step with today's (read: relatively younger) audience's response to porn, and this latest "uninhibited" effort from Tanya Tate is a prime example. Her game is obvious and so is the silly but graphic content of her videos, but why people (and apparently the porn press) dig them escapes me. A talented performer and obviously creative type is just wasting her time spinning her wheels with junk like this.

The issue is simple: why create interesting sexual situations, in this series turning trad British staple like ST. TRINIAN'S into a den of iniquity, or in a parallel series of incestuous lesbian threesomes, into merely tiresome generic humping that any male hack could (and does unfortunately) grind out as so much porn sausage? It's obvious to me that she could do something better with her sexual ideas and premises, but BRATS (pardon the sausage pun) is what we get.

The sexy British actresses of this American (-backed) production recite their lines with zero conviction, as both they and the auteur know that the dinky set-up scenes are just momentary padding until the lesbian XXX action gets going with gusto. Overall effect of her videos is nearly at the level of a Marc Dorcel quickie wherein the cast just dresses up as nurses, doctors, secretaries or whatever fetish you like - all that matters is sex, sex and more sex.

In this case, the nominal storyline of Tate visiting her niece Samantha (Samantha Bentley) at private school during a teachers' strike. Our auteur makes love to a classmate Lucia Love, and the video's technique proves to be quite sloppy - a reliance on master shots and not enough coverage to provide seamless reverse-shot editing.

Also apparent is an odd bias on TT's part: she does not cast beauties (herself included) but rather striking females who are sexy but closer to fluffers than star material. This is different from other lesbian auteurs, such as leaders in the field Noelle, St. James and Brandt, who employ a mixture of types (including the ultra-beautiful) to good effect.

Franki (a mature, talented British MILF well-known from made-in-England Marc Dorcel videos) plays an English teacher who's about to quit now that the school's headmistress has split, but Samantha humps her to convince her to stay (typical of the show's lame plot line). This sex scene is just an excuse to show off black stockings and high heels: "Check!" on the auteur's fetish clipboard.

Tall, thin and tattooed blonde Angel Long sort of portrays the gym teacher on such a chintzy, under-dressed set I thought we had been suddenly transported to the era of 1971 one-day wonders. She molests baby-faced, diminutive blonde Delilah Dash, who would be pretty except for her truly fake-looking, not proportional to her size, breasts. This segment checks off the domination/submission categories.

An actual clipboard appears on screen in the finale, as tall, tall Lexi Lowe suddenly appears in a crummy tiled bathroom set as the new headmistress, dealing with petite (and silent) student victim Roxy Mendez, with Tate reappearing for no logical reason. Lowe is spraying an aphrodisiac called "horny dioxide" (I can never tell in these clunky videos whether Tate is going for an actual laugh or not), and the threesome ensues.

As with her incest films where the viewer is supposed to instantly get off on repetitious (and clumsily staged) scenes of sisters and their mom or aunt having sex, these poor production values tales of dirty teachers and hapless students having sex are uninspired and unarousing. If the public wants crap, there will always be pornographers to deliver it (as cheaply as possible), but I would think a successful performer like Tate would like to do better.