Scared Topless

Scared Topless (2015)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

A group of college students agree to go to a haunted mansion with their professor as well as a psychic (Candy Lucas) in order to see if the ghost of a former actress (Jasmine Leo) is really there.

Before watching this film from Jim Wynorski, I had watched another one of his movies on Amazon called LEGEND OF THE NAKED GHOST. As soon as I turned this film on I realize that LEGEND OF THE NAKED GHOST was actually a shortened version of this. That film, appearing on Amazon, clocks in at less than forty-minutes and it's basically missing all of the simulated sex scenes that you can find uncut in this the original version. I'm guessing LEGEND OF THE NAKED GHOST was produced because Amazon didn't want any too naughty.

As far as the film goes, if you're into the sexploitation films that Wynorski makes then there's no question that you're going to enjoy this one. Obviously there's nothing here that is Oscar-worthy but at the same time the film wasn't going for that. This is the type of movie that you watch on places like Showtime at three in the morning and if you don't take it too serious then there's some fun to be had.

As you'd expect, the cast is full of beautiful, big-breasted women just like the director enjoys. Cindy Lucas and Bridgette B. are both very fun in their roles and there's no doubt that all of the nudity is what makes this thing so entertaining. I also really liked Leo in her role of the dead actress but it doesn't seem she continued in the business as her credits pretty much dried up. The entire cast is good enough for this type of film and they are clearly in on the joke of the film.

SCARED TOPLESS isn't a masterpiece but it's good enough for what it is. Which version you watch will be up to you but if you want all of the sex scenes then it's best to go with this one.

The title made a pretty false claim. Not one person in this film was topless from fear. In the end, I still have my shirt on and I'm very disappointed. However, there is a twist at the end worth sticking around for. 1 star for that and the other 2 for the soundtrack. Howard Blueberry, please name your films more aptly in the future.

I know female nudity will always attract some level of a male audience, but I had a hard time sitting thru this excuse for boobs and I'm a bit confused why it's so well reviewed.

'Scared Topless' is a drab T&A flick by well known b-movie director Jim Wynorski. Likely filmed in a span of days. Certainly no 500k budget and a long way from this genre's prime in 2015 considering the casts now typically consist of hardcore pornstars. Busty blonde Bridgette B my case in point.

None of that would matter if it's good though. Positive reviews talk of good vibes or a decent story with atmosphere and laughs. I must have missed all that completely. This features the barest of plot, a bunch of horrible dialog, boobs and tame simulated sex scenes.

I'm in no way judging watching stuff like 'Scared Topless', but we don't have to lie to ourselves or others about it's lack of quality. If you want to see beautiful naked women you can do better. Unless all you have access to is cable TV at 3am.

Loved watching this movie. Hot pornstars in a funny erotic movie, what's not to love? Hilarious and horny and well worth a watch, i mean wan.... decent storyline as well, not that i cared much about that hahahaha. Hot babes and plenty of sex scenes to view and enjoy. Exactly what i was looking for. Straight away you quickly realise this is a softcore so if that isnt what you are looking for then you might as well switch it right off. Or you could sit back relax and enjoy sexy babes getting down and well dirty for the full movie. I know i did. Perfect. Any recommendations for movies like this? Softcore at its funniest.

Jim Wynorski's spoof lacks the freshness of his other horror movie parodies like House on Hooter Hill or Bare Wench Project. It has the flavor of "one more picture needed for my contract, so let's fill up the time with nasty sex scenes." Music covers the sound too often. The opening scene would have been much better if it didn't change to a film the characters were watching until it was ending. In fact in 20 percent of this the characters watch a movie or TV show of someone else. Jacqui Holland always seems to look away toward the camera or a corner of the room to show off her face, it's less exciting this time and more of a distraction.