Donald Cried

I don't think I've ever watched a movie that resonated as much as this one.

I have a Donald in my life. One of my best friends in high school. Now 10 years out he still lives with his mom, works a dead end job, smokes weed, and hangs out with the same dead beat friends. Snags a girl, only to have it all fall apart.

I'll come into town once every few years and we catch up. It's just like Donald Cried. Drive around, see old faces that have not gone anywhere, have a few fun moments like the old days. Then by the end of it all, reality returns and I go back to my life and he stay right where he is in his.

This movie made me laugh,

It made me smile,

And it broke my heart.

Most movies sell "magic". The happy ending. The guy we like bettering himself and his life. The loser/underdog coming out on top. Not this one. No, this movie is as close to reality as it gets. And it hurts. I still feel like there's an arrow in my heart.

This movie will never be popular. Reality sucks. And people don't go to the movies for "reality", they want magic. Reality is a hard sell. Never the less, I'm glad I saw Donald Cried and I recommend it.

I don't think I'll ever forget this movie.

Poor Peter. Years after successfully escaping his small-town for the big city, the dapper financier is forced to return to collect his grandmother's ashes. This leads to a very uncomfortable reunion. Peter has obviously moved on, literally and figuratively, but not his old neighbor pal Donald. Nope. Donald is still the same old high school hoser, super keen to rekindle the good old days.

It's a classic premise, that works well on a cringe, comedic level, as Peter, the desperate, reluctant hostage tries valiantly to escape the eager clutches of the oblivious Donald, who seems to be dealing with some disturbing baggage.

"Donald Cries" twists that old formula just enough to explore several deeper issues, and the film grows fuller as the characters reveal themselves.

Writer, director, star Kris Avedisian is quite the talent, and his take on the wide-eyed, gung ho man-child Donald is a character for the ages.

This is sheer brilliance. Every one of us knows a Donald, and Avedisian utterly nails this one. The banal and insistent mutterings, the swing between unrealistically content to sad, the brooding underlying hurt, and the absolute killer line "I just want you to respect me." That's what all Donalds want. To be liked and respected. I keep reading that it's low budget and it probably was but I'm not sure you can tell other than it's not a mainstream Hollywood film. The story is great, the screenplay fantastic, the acting from Avedisian is sheer brilliance, so good that at first I wanted to turn it off because he was so dam annoying! There wasn't a single badly acted part from anyone, there wasn't a line of dialogue out of place or unnecessary, there wasn't a scene that wasn't believable. I'll remember this for a long time and it's my first 9 star rating in a very, very long time.

What this movie is really about is the joy of performing. Wakeman and Avedisian play off each other as beautifully as Peter Falk and Alan Arkin in The In-Laws, Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts in Pope of Greenwich Village and Thomas Haden Church and Paul Giamatti in Sideways. Two polar opposites are forced together for 24 hours, Avedisian presses Wakeman's buttons and the suspense is when Wakeman is going to blow. Wakeman, much like Arkin, is a great slow burner. And Avedisian pulls off the trick of being one of the biggest losers in the history of film but still remain strangely sympathetic. It's amazing to see that they've done so little else because they seem like seasoned pros at acting for the camera. What's also amazing is that they were able to film in such large quantities of snow with no continuity issues. What in the world would they have done if the temps shot up to 50 degrees and all the snow melted? In any event, somehow the snow adds something. The movie has a real lived in feel and made me laugh out loud at least a dozen times. Maybe it's just me but movies set in cold weather always seem to turn out well. Would make a great double feature with the gentler, but no less idiosyncratic or entertaining, indie flick Cold Weather.

There is a palpable sense you get while watching the quirked-out indy dramedy "Donald Cried". It is the distinct impression that this maturation-blunted misfit stoner is based on a guy, or perhaps an amalgamation of them, that Writer, Director and Co-Star Kris Avedisian knows, or knew, pretty damn well.

Avedisian's take on one of life's helplessly pitiful losers is plain and simple just so very sad, sad, sad...stultifyingly sad. Some of what his oblivious and completely without filter character of Donald says and does is laugh-out-loud funny, yes. But you almost feel guilty finding folly in these moments because we see how repressively dismal and desperate this downtrodden dude's existence is, replete with an horrifically repugnant stepfath...stepCREATURE. Physically, Donald left high school some two decades ago. Emotionally and mentally, he never will. He can't, and clearly does not WANT to, break free of the caste system that defined him, and everyone else, in those carefree and couldn't care less rambunctious days of his misanthropic metalhead youth.

Donald's teenage running buddy, Pete (Co-Writer Jesse Wakeman, who I just gotta say here bares a striking resemblance to a grown-up Jerry "Leave It to Beaver" Mathers), is a different animal entirely. After Pete graduated from prep school, he BOLTED out of Warwick, Rhode Island for fun and fortune as a financier in New York City with absolutely no notion of returning. Except, that is, to tend to his recently deceased grandmother's affairs. Which is what reluctantly reunites him with Donald. And, man, is there some SERIOUS latent hostility festering beneath the skin of these two, played out in not all that passive/angrily aggressive fashion during, among other interactions, a pulverizing playground football game and a furious, aim directly for the head, snowball fight. Pete is not a likable fellow. And his deplorable treatment of Donald can't instill anything in you but, once again, circling back to my fundamental premise, saturating sorrow.

This is not to say that I inherently disliked "Donald Cried" at all. Avedisian and Wakeman, who have collaborated before on other small-scale projects, are by and large an engaging tandem, and they succeed in generating a real, if not real ODDBALL, chemistry as the movie progresses. And I especially appreciate the fact that this production was shot on location in the actual town of Warwick, often times amidst steady wind-whipped snowfall, which serves to accentuate the uncompromisingly bleak tone of the narrative.

Considering all that we are introduced to over the course of 24 hours in this story, it hardly comes as a shock to anyone that "Donald Cried". The genuine stunner would be this: the revelation that this man doesn't weep openly and without a wisp of restraint every single day he must awaken to suffer a punishing onslaught of remorseless spirit annihilation. No different than the day preceding. And precisely as will be his fate for all the days forthcoming.

Yeah, I gotcher "comic relief" right HERE, pal.