Demon House

Here's a tip, when you're buying fake reviews for your crap documentary it's not a smart idea to have them all gush praise and reverence for the director over and over and over. Seriously, whatever fake PR firm you used to write these reviews laid it on way too thick. Learn a little subtlety. Wow.

What a steaming pile of horse crap. I can't believe people are stupid enough to believe this garbage.

This moron should be ashamed of himself.

Don't waste your time. Watch Sesame Street. It's more believable.

Get a bunch of backward, poor, god-fearing black folks, offer them a buck and hey presto. you have demons! Get some white dude, to dress in black, , act like David Blaine, speak in a monotone voice and wear sunglasses in a cellar and you have the makings of a documovie. 30 minutes in, I'm thinking "what a pile of horse do-do!" Captain Austin....... hmmm? what a moron he is.... forgot his lines, claiming he'd been unconscious for a month...after falling on ice - must be those pesky demons again! The smell of money draws people to this moviemaker like flies round crap - like Mika - who, coincidentally turns up while the moviemaker is there, claims those evil demons kicked her in the basement and gets the scent of money regularly from then on. Never has a movie been made based on so little evidence! What we have are a load of 'chancers', jumping on the bandwagon - and the bandwagon is pretty darn full of everything but actual demons! Wow! people are shot and murdered in one of the poorest, most violent places in American - massive shock. Secret informants, coincidences, people just 'dropping by' to give evidence.... this movie is built on this absolute drivel! First we are told that our moviemaker- a TV spook hunter, buys this house, 'famous' for 'paramormal activity', then we have, the lengthy convincer - that he suspects it's all a hoax. Until he starts his own investigation. What utter and complete crap! We have a famous guy come in and measure electrical interference from our moviemaker, who happens to have both hands in his pockets when his device spikes...........pointed at his pocketed hands - and the science guy doesn't put two and two together? in an earlier shot you can clearly see his pocket contains something - pull the other one you muppets! Ablack anomally passes a doorway right where a cameraman is... and guess what? We have a Nasa expert brought in to tell usit's not the cameraman's hand - who said it was?? You couldn't make it up - well.... yes you could. When the movie is obviously not having the desired effect, the crew start to be affected (quelle suprise). One vomits blood and screams the movie maker's name in a strange voice - but our idiot filmakers don't capture that - merely some contrived ham-acting, which IS captured. The whole thing is contrived, but not even well. Oh! we have the goatman......of course we do...... because that's the thing that ties this ridiculous story together. I've seen fake stuff before way better done than this. Lots of medical claims, police, cps but no evidence whatsoever. Even claims of organs shutting down and yet the guy looks perfectly fine. Then we have the climax: "I know this sounds stupid, but the investigator inside me wants to experience it." Well, no, it sounds/smells like dollars. Our money, sorry, movie maker, is locked inside the demon house. We are shown the boarded up windows and doors as convincers. Here we go.. There are reputed to be a hundred demons in this house and yet........... nothing. Oh, undocumented double vision. Unproven claims about crew members and illnesses and accidents are all blamed on the house. It's all very pathetic. Basically we have rumours about a haunted house, the sniff of a movie and cash, which our movie maker sees a mile off. Add to that poor, god-fearing, uneducated folks, lead them along by dropping details in, especially to the kids, then, when the story is petering out a little, get the crew involved, whether in collusion, or fame whoring, make some unsubstantiated claims and then spend a night in the house, make more unsubstantiated medical claims and then destroy the house, keeping a little dirt and some stairs for a sequel, add a few million gullible idiots and hey presto - no demons, but pots of cash! That's the most unbelievable thing about this movie. At no stage are any provable documents provided to substantiate any claims, be it medical, criminal, ecumenical or otherwise. In short, it is the biggest and poorest sham ever devised.

This is just one episode of those tv shows that go into houses "hunting" ghosts pretending to be a movie. It's so moronic that I started laughing at it. It's the Birdemic of documentaries. It's long boring stupidity pontified by momments that are so bad you'll laugh out loud.

Unless you are a true paranormal believer and buy everything you hear/see on tv this documentary is going to make you laugh it's so over the top. Of course nothing extraordinary is caught on tape... all of the freakiest things were done via reenactments. Bagans is more pompous than ever yelling at everyone-bossing them around (par for the course if you have seen his history channel show Ghost Adventures). You truly have to believe or want to believe what you're viewing is "real" which I'm sure his fan base will buy hook line & sinker. But to the group of us who watched with an open mind...we had quite the laugh at just how over the top this is. It's not a documentary it's a scripted movie designed to do one thing- OK two things; Scare you for entertainment and put even more money into Bagans bank account.