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Les sangsues mutantes (2003)

Review by A_Roode

Les sangsues mutantes

3/10

Leeches is ... well it sucks...

I've got a friend who plays on my masochistic urges. He tries to dig up the worst movies that he can because he knows I'll watch anything once. 'Leeches' was his most recent bid to break my spirit. It is pretty far from great, but it is no worse than you might expect it to be. This is actually a very good time to 'judge a book by its cover.' Everything you need or want to know is there.

In fairness, the film is not trying to be anything more than a low-level exploitation film. A similarly masochistic buddy of mine watched it with me and we actually found it hilariously funny in a couple of spots. The acting is total cheeseball and the dialogue is ridiculous. The film is charged with homo-eroticism. Come on, it is just hilarious the number of shower scenes that take place, and the fact that all of the guys go into slow motion when they undress to go swimming.

The leeches are pretty funny. They move very slowly ... until they attack. Then suddenly they become piranhas and move with lightening speed. The leeches also have high pitched squeaky voices. Oh yes, this is a special film.

If I was going to be generous I would say you could watch this film as a satire of teen monster movies or that it is maybe a message film -- "Steroids are BAD!" You'll be happier if you watch it and just revel in the b-movie humour. A lot of it is unintentional and the actors all take their parts with a hilarious degree of seriousness. What little hope there might have been for this movie was spoiled by a completely random plot twist in the last moments of the movie.

I was going to list a series of questions that the movie had brought up for me, like why a competitive swim team with an Olympic sized pool would need to swim in a leech infested lake. I don't really want to waste anymore time on this movie though and I hope anyone reading this is doing it pre-emptively. I love bad movies but this is just garbage, sprinkled with a side of unintentional humour.
  • A_Roode
  • Apr 15, 2006

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