Doctor_Enigmatic

The music in the opening scene that sets up the show, really out of place. 2/3 of the songs chosen were just odd, not fitting pieces. The Metallica was the compromise for dealing with the other two songs, I'm guessing.

So we have a bunch of like wolf's (not as fun as Brad and George) and they all do things their own way. Yet the main focus is on Dean being Jack; stereotypical get 'er done type cop. I still love 24 and The Shield. That was amazing writing and acting. This feels like it wants to be something like that, but it is so painfully paint by numbers.

I could forgive the obvious writing playing all the notes we've seems hundreds of times before, but when you got such... Questionable talent, it makes it feel like ice skating up hill. Jensen is the real talent, the reason many show. Up to watch. It's unfortunate he keeps ending up in things were the scripts are so lame. I was so excited for him to be Batman and WB wizzed him down their leg like they did with Daniel Craig with Bond. Now we got this show with it's very lame writing, and I'm worried about the jobs he gets next.

Then we got the female cop who nobody likes because she has to prove she's just as rough as the boys. See. Look at her beating in heads and bucking authority. She's a strong female lead and we'll like it. She does what boys do.

You got the nerd suck up who is great for the tech stuff, then there are two other dudes that are, meh. Filling bodies is really their only role. They don't do anything to add to the dynamic.

The final scene, you got a bunch of detectives approaching something that looks like a mini fat boy, complete with radiological symbol, but only one of these toupe detectives is like, hey! And walks away slowly with another lame music choice, so he can take his time getting to a truck, so he can get his sensor to see the rads. You got the 4 other detectives and their 2 commanding officers arguably closer than he was, and yet this one background guy had to prove he is one of the wolf's too.

Woof.

Because this thing was not worth any of those giant numbers. 7-10 is a straight load of horse ish. I've seen thousands of films from all over the world, I know what makes a good film. This? This is pretentious pandering to club kids who were too cool for D. A. R. E.

The first half hour is watching a documentary style interview with all the principal characters. F me in the ear they all suck so hard. Not one decent or worthwhile one in the bunch. Then you sit thru another 40+ min of people just being self obsessed and annoying jabbering about lots it stuff, most of it is not worth listening to. Just watching them talk in the opening half hour on some old TV surrounded by movie boxes reminding you that you could be watching something so much better and meaningful, you realize that every person in this movie deserves to have bad things happen to them. Congrats on the cast for being a bunch of stereotypical annoying people you wouldn't want to spend 20 minutes with.

The next forty minutes it's just them "dancing" and I use it like that because I get dance is all about self expression, but the only thing these people expressed is they look like Michael J Fox dropped a light roach in their shorts and they are trying to jostle it out without using their hands. Sure they are limber and bendy, but they look like a bunch of children with too much sugar and no strong adult presence in their life.

One of the main characters is some self absorbed tart waffle who brings a kid to a Studio 54 atmosphere. I knew she was the kind of person who needed to be set on fire just from the prattling she does during the documentary. Then you see her bringing this kid to this heathen hang out. She's so quick to point out how she's such a great mother, which is the most sure way to prove someone is a tire fire. Then she does all the other things...

It isn't until over an hour in things start to get "horror," granted being trapped for 3 days in the same building as any of these people is a horror movie in and of itself. I've done one or two illicit substances in my life, some have been very very bad trips. I guess I was lucky to not be trapped around a bunch of people like this. The movie's main point seems to be "drugs made people this bad, " is the D. A. R. E experience we never got, but clearly needed. If I saw this back then, I never would have touched anything, including alcohol, for fear of becoming like any of these people.

The music and noise is annoying from jump street. The people are all just the absolute worst with literally zero redeeming qualities. The cinematography felt amateurish to boot too. Ohhh look at us filming the people from above for 10 minutes. So artistic. Let's watching two dudes talk about forcefully sodomizing unwilling women while they laugh. Innovation!

The two dudes with the super distasteful conversations and the lady cutting herself are the realest moments of the film, but they are drowned out with just everything else being slow, and chased with meandering camera work as people make their problems everyone else's.

I guess it gets around to being horror, but it is a horror you bring on yourself. Sitting thru this uninspired slog torturing yourself when you could and should be doing literally anything else. It's not art. It's not clever, catchy, or meaningful. It is just an example of how someone is so up his own hobbit hole, and all he did was waste a lot of people's time and money. Seriously who backed this? Parents against drug and alcohol?

Other movies rated highly I don't understand to help you decide if my review rings for you:

Quiet place- over-hyped garbage that didn't deserve half the rating it got. Either of the two I wasted time with before saying never again.

Mother- another pretentious waste of time by a director who wears himself as a hat and didn't deserve half the ratings it got.

This movie, falls into the exact same feeling. If you agree with any of that then please save yourself the annoyance and wasted time. If you want to be like everyone else and like something because they do, we'll bully for you. This is no Requiem for a Dream, but I feel they wanted it to be.

There is definitely padding at work. I appreciate they wanted to make a new film and try some things. The fx were dated horribly, the story felt the need to jump around haphazardly, and you couldn't really ever care about any of the characters.

Characters is an interesting term for many of the individuals in this project. The warden being the most memorable for a serious wtf is his motivation? He says the weirdest ish I felt like I was slapped. He had me taken aback like, did he really just say those words? There is a phrase about a gluteus maximus and a cleft that made me feel the slap. I still ka shaking my head over what made him say such words. My dude is clearly the standout person in this film, as everyone else is like taupe or beige. They just blend in and aren't really memorable. Like their boss we see for about a minute fifteen seconds. He is supposed to be taking a meeting about something important and he's all space out looking at a cat poster or something.

The special effects were pretty decent, but the janky, over shaky+zooming in and out really ruined the whole feel. That sums up most of the cinematography. Someone said there were inspired choices and I'm thinking that had to be the camera man posting that. They are choices, to be sure. They are not choices an expert or even an amateur would or should use.

The whole jumpy camera work and overly edited thing really is so exhausted. We get the scene is supposed to be jarring, we don't need a headache or feel the need to take some dramamine.

The story really just meander along. There's no sense of urgency to uncover what is afoot. There are moments where a comical track is used for this dofus whose sole job is to be the annoying guy you want to stick in the shredder. It felt the need to inject humor, but they weren't really nailing the horror, so the tones seemed to feel like they were working against each other. I didn't feel the need to laugh or care.

Take for example a lady is missing. This dude is pretty hung up on her not returning his texts or calls. Like, it seems kind of pathetic and makes you feel like she definitely is ghosting the guy, not that she is in mortal peril. He says the same things multiple times as if he was trying to show he cared and was curious, but just came off as whiney.

Of course we know what happened, but I never felt the need to care about it happening, or how it affected the others. They certainly didn't care either. They just kept telling him to get over it.

Hopefully it is a learning experience and they go on to tight up the writing and the acting and the camera work. The effects dudes are great and need to keep it up.