twocents2

I was happy to see this in a cavernous theater with about fifteen people on a Saturday afternoon. People are obviously out enjoying the summer. I feel sorry for the other fourteen who actually paid. I had thought that the hype would make this at least half full in its second weekend. The recliners were nice, such a treat. It was cold. I saw a girl, overdressed for the weather, take out a baby blue fleece blanket and drape it over her, obviously a film vet who knows her theaters. After seeing the trailer in theaters ten times and seeing the week one hype, I jumped at the chance to see it.

From the hype, you'd think that Julia Garner was the star, poised for film stardom after her three Ozark Emmys. But it is very much an ensemble. The only sympathetic character is maybe a cop's girlfriend. Donna (June Diane Raphael) is a sexy lady. But the cop is gonna cop a feel wherever he can get away with it. Garner's a second grade teacher in a K-5 school whose character even shares her initials, Justine Gandy. How convenient for everyone on set. She shows up one day (first day of school perhaps; month is never established) and only one kid is in the class. The other 17 woke up and ran out of their homes at 2:17 AM. Why? That old black magic canard. It's really just that simple. Other viewers brought up the fact that the FBI, National Guard, etc are entirely absent. You could have even just uncovered this mystery in a day or so with about fifteen tracker dogs. These bloodhounds just ingest the child's scent from clothing, follow the trail from their homes wherever it led and uncover the villains as soon as they all started wildly barking and wagging their tails in unison. Doggone it! It's a wrap, audience!

Obviously, there's the usual meeting at the school and it's like The Crucible or any town hall scene you've ever seen. Gandy is unjustly crucified. It's not her fault almost every kid no showed. She speaks, but nobody is satisfied. One dad, Archer (Josh Brolin) has a particularly extended monologue for the sake of wasting more time. He later finds out that she was bounced from a prior school for having a relationship with another school employee. Her ex, a cop named Paul (Alden Ehrenreich) is, like her, an alcoholic. His AA membership is not really helping. His gf of course is the police chief's daughter, another cookie cutter trope.

We get six characters who all have chapters in this unique structure that really has no payoff or benefit. One is a meth head who accidentally solves the whole damn thing himself in an aborted burglary venture. His pawn shop scenes were funny. The tone is way too humorous for the gravity of the situation. I thought the 57 year old Brolin was about 15-20 years long in the tooth for the role. It's a great age for him to be running a successful construction company, but not to father a seven year old. Obviously the mystery is going to revolve around the one kid who did show, but it's gonna take awhile. We have to see the principal at the supermarket and at home with his gay spouse in a whole gay affectation drenched scene. This thing is a half hour too long. The title means absolutely nothing unless you attempt a strained metaphorical leap. I didn't see the director's first film, apparently a huge success for the genre. But this and Garner were overhyped to the skies, which feature an AK-47 reading 2:17.

I snuck into this theater expecting a nice, nostalgic hour and a half with Bob Odenkirk and Christopher Lloyd as father and son. That was terrific. Lloyd is a warm, funny actor who I am delighted to see still working. N2 has shades of National Lampoon in it. But the father is a straight up killer. We see a lot more of him in family mode than in the first film. The same joke of him barely missing the garbage truck in the morning is here, I suppose as a reward to the fans of N1. I enjoyed about half of this thrown together mess. The confined quarters bus scene in N1 is now staged in an elevator. Connie Nielsen grounds the film nicely as his realtor wife. Mafia kingpin Sharon Stone was horrible casting. Her acting was frankly embarrassing. Colin Hanks is on hand as a corrupt sheriff. Not a memorable role, but a payday nonetheless. This whole endeavor has the stench of a payday movie. It's okay to catch if it's free as part of a monthly plan or if you manage to sneak in. But what a putrid affair to endure.

I enjoyed my mellow matinee on the arm. I had never seen the original, so everything was fresh. This is very much a chick flick. The men are all plot devices to further the story. It is fun the watch the chemistry between Anna (Lindsay Lohan) and Tess (Jamie Lee Curtis). Anna is a former teen punk rocker. She quit because she was pregnant. Tess is a therapist with a podcast and new book coming out. Anna now manages Ella (Maitreya Ramakrishnan), who just broke up with her bf but has to do an LA concert, where everyone conveniently convenes at the end. The exposition was fun. A run in with Madame Jen (Vanessa Bayer) jumpstarts the soul swapping. Tess is now trapped in Anna's frenemy Lily (Sophia Hammons)'s body. Anna's daughter Harper (Julia Butters) and Lily had a huge fight in their ninth grade chemistry lab. Both single parents were summoned to the principal's office, hit it off and plan to wed. Lily's dad is chef Eric (Manny Jacinto). Lily is trapped in Tess' body. JLC has a lot of fun with that. Anna becomes Harper and vice versa. Anna's old flame (Chad Michael Murray) is brought in for more complications. It's a lot of fun. But you waste a lot of brain power keeping all the switching characters straight. It's 14 minutes longer than the original due to such added shenanigans. We even have Eric's parents flying in from Manila for the wedding, which is temporarily cancelled. But this is Hollywood. I enjoyed myself, even if there were only two other people in the theater. Curtis is a delight. Lohan wasn't always up to the craziness, but she did enough. Butters (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) continues to establish her career. Hammons does well. Bayer is funny. Jacinto was fine. Mark Hamill as Tess' husband was warm and sympathetic. This is just a fun summer movie that makes patrons happy.