BremenDruid

This short series (short in that it only has three episodes, but it is lengthy in that each episode is about an hour and half long) starts off incredibly strong and had me glued to the tv. It was dark, mysterious, intriguing, creepy, a bit funny here and there, and left you wondering what was going to happen next. Dracula is played perfectly here, he's suave and well mannered, but he's also disturbingly evil. One of the standouts to me is Agatha Van Helsing. Obviously, this is a departure from the original story in which Van Helsing is now a doubting nun who has studied witchcraft and the occult. What makes her interesting here is just how sharp and witty she is and how she deals with the situations presented to her. She openly mocks Dracula and uses every advantage she can against him, and in some ways their battle is more a battle of wits than a physical altercation. It's engaging and keeps you intrigued as they make their swipes at each other. However, this all changes at the last 3 or so minutes of the second episode and the last episode. The premise could have worked, but the problem is they didn't do it correctly (I won't spoil what happens, but it seems like every Dracula story now has to do this). Dracula is no longer threatening, instead he's used more for comedic purposes than anything else. The situations that they derive from the premise are not interesting and in some cases just downright stupid. And then they have the audacity to throw in a plot twist at the end that slaps the vampire lore they'd been adhering to in the face, a plot twist that also makes no sense whatsoever. I haven't been this disappointed in an ending to a show since Game of Thrones.

Let me first say this: this movie is not science fiction. It is a drama set in space. Let me also say this: don't advertise it as a sci-fi movie if it's not sci-fi. The plot of the movie is ridiculous, the events in the movie are nonsensical (especially the one that the trailers tried to sell you on: "Your father has found some incredible secret that could destroy all life as we know it"). It's really bad when you introduce other concepts in the movie that are not the main focus, but I feel like would have made a better movie. Moon pirates and super apes in a space lab? Nah, forget that crap, let's focus on Brad Pitt's unresolved daddy issues instead (no, I don't remember the character's name, because I don't care). That's actually the biggest problem with this movie. I couldn't care less about any of the characters in it or the events really. Congratulations, this movie is not just boring, but it's emotionally devoid too.

...is the fact that there were signs of an incredible Star Wars movie buried in this film. It's just completely lost in stupid decisions, dumb character portrayals, and ridiculous plot points. The only time I've ever been this disappointed by a Star Wars movie was after seeing Episode 1 in theaters, but while in my view that movie was just bad through and through, this one could have shined. First of all, the humor. Humor is not a bad thing in a movie and, in fact, Star Wars generally has good flowing humor between the characters. The problem with the humor in this one is it's not character interaction so much as it is just cheap jokes. There's one at the beginning of the movie in which Poe is acting like there's a communication problem between him and General Hux which makes no sense whatsoever in this universe. In order for that joke to work you have to accept that their technology is no always reliable, but in Rogue One we saw that ships could communicate while in hyperspace, you mean to tell me that their technology may not work ship to ship while next to each other? Second: Canto Bite. This sequence was so out of place, and it actually showed to be pointless to the story. I think my biggest problem is Canto Bite feels too much like Las Vegas but with people masquerading as aliens. Slot machines and I'm pretty sure they were playing craps. Come on. Where is the imagination here? It's not like you have to go very far, there are tons of references of gambling games in books and other media, but instead it's basically a standard casino from earth. Lame. Did I mention that this whole subplot had no purpose? Yeah, because it didn't. I honestly could ramble on about this, but I'm just going to stop. This COULD have been an awesome Star Wars movie, but it was lost in some of the dumbest decisions ever made. I'm not even sure if I care about seeing the next Star Wars movies which makes me incredibly sad.