ryanpersaud-59415

It's okay. Some funny moments here and there; there are a lot of moments of comedic misdirection that I got a kick out of, the film's very Gen X sensibility was great and fit right in with the sort of humour I grew up with, and some of the performances are phenomenal.

I think Christopher McDonald's Shooter McGavin (lots of Mcs there) makes this movie. He is so perfectly cast: not only does he look exactly like what I'd imagine an egotistical professional golfer in the 90s would look like, but he's so terrible, but comparison he makes Adam Sandler's Happy Gilmore seem like a decent person.

Because let's be honest here, whether or not you like this movie is highly dependent on your tolerance for Adam Sandler. When I say this film feels very "Gen X", it's primarily because of his character: this devil-may-care, easily tempered, violent man is our protagonist, and despite him being kind of terrible, you're supposed to root for him. Because ya know, "he's sticking it to the man...MAN."

Sandler is obnoxious, but frequently just funny enough to get away with it. The jokes and sequences here are juvenile, but in a way that's cleverly intended to subvert the perceived stuffiness of the golfing establishment. I was really surprised that Julie Bowen of Modern Family fame was in this and she was honestly great. Without her, I really don't think I could've made it through this movie.

I think part of the reason I grew up being told this movie was "bad" is because it's a sequel to Jurassic Park, one of the greatest films of all time. Back in the day, "sequels" were always looked at with scorn (the ol' 'the sequel is never good narrative' was everywhere), and I think that coloured how people view this movie.

Because The Lost World is not Jurassic Park. Not even close. But it's a pretty fun and interesting sequel that dials up the action and the sakes, has some great set pieces, and see Jeff Goldblum with peak leading man energy.

Sure, it doesn't really grapple with the philosophical or moral questions the original did, it's not a perfect character arc following a man finding that fatherhood looks good on him. And no, there is not a single sequence in this movie that comes close to the final claustrophobic Raptor sequence or the introduction of the T-Rex.

But it's *fine.* Expecting it to be anything but a fun, serviceable popcorn sequel is frankly too much. We need to stop chastising sequels for "not being as good as the original." If they're a good movie, they're a good movie. Without this one, the franchise could've very well been a relic of the 90s.

So a raise a toast to the movie that's about as good as it could've been, as a sequel to what is, in my humble opinion, a perfect film.

From the opening moments of this movie, I knew it was going to be pretty bad. When a top secret facility's security system is irreparably compromised by a candy wrapper being "sucked into" an door, the suspension of disbelief is thrown out the window. It's just one example of the absolutely terrible writing that plagues this movie from start to finish.

From the bizarre repetition of the fact that "the dinosaurs only live near the equator now" four times in the first 15 or so minutes (I counted) to the awkward attempts at humour (the Altoid bit was just painful) to the logic defying moments (apparently enormous dinosaurs actually don't make a sound when they move anymore), this movie is just...for lack of a better termed, very stupid.

There's an overwhelming sense that things in this movie are there to tick corporate boxes. From an agonizingly slow build up because the studio knows that there needs to be "character development" to the inclusion of a little cute dinosaur for merchandise. To the family aspect - quite possibly one of the most annoying and unnecessary additions to this movie - which felt so random and forced.

(The character Xavier is so obnoxious, that I don't think I've ever actively rooted for someone to be eaten by a velociraptor more in my entire life, I'm serious)

The movie feels extremely safe in its structure and even watered down regarding the violence and action, which is saying something for a franchise that's always been PG to PG-13. It's ironic because the film seems like it's leaning more into horror; some of the most memorable sequences are definitely horror coded, but it also feels nerfed because we know quite early on, no main character is actually in danger here.

There's also no "main dinosaur" that acts as a central antagonist, a tradition stretching back to the beginning of the franchise. The one that's teased in the marketing and literally opens the movie is NEVER seen again until the final moments and we don't know what it even looks like or what it is.

I'm actually struggling to even remember elements of the plot even though I saw this movie two days ago. That's how unremarkable it is.

At the end of the day, people - myself included - love dinosaurs and love the Jurassic Park brand. We'll show up. But, I kind of hope this franchise takes an extended break and comes back with something genuinely interesting. That's why Jurassic World was such a mega-blockbuster. This is a franchise of diminishing returns at this point and needs a real shakeup. Unfortunately, Rebirth isn't it.