jbhard

I'll Just say up front that I was totally blown away by how entertaining this film is. It doesn't pretend to be 'realistic' nor does it resort to jokey-joke bad comedy. It's honest approach to what it is hearkens back to the seventies or very early eighties. Some have compared 'Snakes on a Plane' to the cheese of 'Airport'...true enough, but I found it to be more similar to the first couple of 'Friday the 13ths'(NOT the jokey-joke sequels that came in the mid eighties and beyond). The action is done straight but not serious. The violence is nasty but somehow comical. In short, FUN. Sameul L. Jackson just may be the new Peter Cushing. Mr. Cushing could take almost any script and keep it engaging; whether you took the film seriously or not. Mr. Jackson brings credibility to an incredulous script. Also worth mentioning is pacing. The story is just right; not too rushed and not drawn out. The film editing is appropriate and doesn't suffer from the same choppy rush that most films get these days (Batman Begins, Phantom of the Opera). You can actually SEE what's going on instead of slam cuts changing every 2.5 seconds. The film makers had so mush fun making this film that the end credits are a humorous music video. LOOK MA! I'M WATCHING MOVIES IN THE THEATER AGAIN! HISSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I was handed this 'golden garbage' DVD for my birthday (Moe!) and all I can say is paybacks are a bitch. The Dark definitely belongs in the "Plan 9 from outer space" category. If you seek serious horror then avoid this like a Chris Tucker 'movie'. However, if failed attempts of the past make you howl with laughter than look no further than this turkey. Failing test screenings as a zombie movie it was reworked into an alien menace movie with hilarious results.

It all starts with an apology (or prologue if you prefer) that attempts to convince the audience that if electric eels can shock than who knows what's out in space(!?) This amounts to freeze framing the 'zombie movie' and superimposing laser bolts from the creature's eyes and an explosion onto the victim. That's great but the characters solving the crimes keep describing horrible mutilations (!?) I would say the acting is terrible but the lines they are given to say are horrendous. We never actually see a spaceship so 'it' apparently fell to earth on it's own. I'm dying to know how and why it's dressed like a mailman (or a factory worker in his coat sans the lunch box). The addition of a mysterious psychic (?) that shows up at inexplicable times means you know your in beer-cinema country.

Take it or leave it. I'm already stuck with my copy.

I've loved Godzilla films for around 30 years. When Tomoyuki Tanaka made his last kaiju 'Godzilla vs. Destroyah' I felt it was a bittersweet classic made by the man who truly understood how to put together entertaining films (for over 40 years!). Sure, there were some flights of fancy that could make even hardcore Godzilla fans flinch. Godzilla flying by way of his atomic breath in 'Hedorah'. The awful gorilla suit in 'King Kong vs Godzilla'. The Spielberg and Terminator references in 'King Ghedorah'. The entire film 'Godzilla vs. Megalon'. But, somehow he kept the films focused even improving on his original ideas in his 90's re-makes.

His loss has been felt ever since Toho started the 'Millenium' series back in 1999. The six films that have been made all share one thing in common - characters I couldn't give a crap about. Well, nobody expects 'Gone with the Wind'; we all watch these things for the monsters and the inevitable mass destruction. Somehow, the people in this series get further and further removed from believability. One film had a little girl who kept pet grass as a replacement for her dead mother(?!) That was when we were well off.

The sixth (and final?) Godzilla incorporates all that is wrong with American cinema. Bad music, Bad editing, over use of CGI, and a cast of 'characters' borrowed from other films, anime, and video games. Most of the time the editing is fine but once the action starts (especially between actors) the way-to-quick editing kicks in. I understand this is some sort of "homage" to other even worse films (The Matrix, hong kong wire-fu) but it just isn't interesting. Let's all face a horrible truth: "BULLET TIME" camera work is a one trick pony that was interesting for a few minutes back in the 1990's. The camera array that gives us the spinning perspective isn't any better. The posturing and posing of the characters is no substitute for character and/or story development. Final Wars is more like Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers than it is like a Godzilla film.

So, Final Wars is horrible and unwatchable, right? Well, almost. The incorporation of so many Toho movie elements is kind of fascinating. Name a classic Toho film from the last fifty years and you will find some reference to it in this film. Atragon, Manda, King Ceasar, Hedorah, Gigan, the Garangutas, even the rouge star Gorath! The monster scenes are great and are the star of the show. Even GINO (the American Godzilla In Name Only) makes an appearance only to be soundly trashed. I just feel disasters like the American Godzilla and The Matrix are best not talked about rather than satired.

If any more Godzillas are to be made I hope they leave it to Shusuke Kaneko. Not only did he make the best of the six (Giant Monsters All Out Attack) but his 1990's Gamera trilogy was really good.

Anyone who has watched BAD CINEMA (Plan 9 from outer space, Howling II) knows that with the right intoxicant an outrageously bad film can be more fun than watching a train wreck. Such was my experience with this movie. Although viewed with unfortunate sobriety, I kept watching to see what outlandish crap they would try next. Amusing, yes. Good, no. ...and I'd still watch this over American Godzilla.