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I put a great deal of trust in IMDb ratings and reviews, and this Christian love story hanging just below 7/10 was more than enough encouragement for my girlfriend and I to give it a shot this Valentine's weekend. Let me advise you to do otherwise.

We received reliable reviews that this film was "not preachy", and a cut above other Christian films. I enjoyed 'The Ultimate Gift', 'Fireproof', etc. but could not choke this one down, though there was plenty of choking. We winced at each exchange between the main character and his 'predestined' love. The dialogue bluntly beats the viewer over the head with the message that Victorian-era courtship is the only proper way to interact with a woman in a laughably misogynistic presentation of our culture. In the film, simple-minded women are totally at the mercy of their man's virtue or lack thereof, and men are bound to take advantage of that unless they drink tea with their aunt periodically, or something like that. Filmmakers are free to present their message, but someone should tell Swartzwelder that a little subtlety and creativity goes a long way.

We chose not to stick around and learn more about the protagonist's dark past of Girls Gone Wild videotapes. The pretty cinematography couldn't distract from the 'Leave it to Beaver' morals, gushy prattle and suffocating veneration of gramophones, shooting hoops and wood working. Neither of us had walked out of a film before, but 'Old Fashioned' proved to be a ground-breaking film in this regard only.

I caught the premiere of this movie at the Austin Films Festival last night. The experience was enhanced by the screen writers and producers being in the audience. Firstly, the cinematography was very enjoyable. Shot in Arizona by the real-life Superstition Mountains, this movie is easy on the eyes with nature shots (and Sage Howard shots) alternating with sepia scenes (for when the characters are supposedly filming on their camera phones). The film makes great use of seemingly extended pauses before any tense moment, which left us leaning forward in our seats. However, I'll admit that the jump scares and sudden loud noises got old to me after a while, because I think I jumped every time the radio came on randomly. The filming in documentary style really helped us meet the characters. I enjoyed the dilemma the main character faced in her friends' safety versus great footage for her documentary. My biggest complaint is the number of unanswered questions. Three or four plot elements were introduced and then not later addressed to my satisfaction. This added to the suspense in the case of the time warps, but in most cases distracted me because I was left curious. The ending was complete but cliché. Conclusion: Paranormal Activity with more Frights and Eye Candy.