cableaddict

I won't bother mentioning any plot details from the first two sesons, as so many other reviewrs have done this well.

Simply put: Season one was excellent TV. A bit slow, but cerebral, involving, and rewarding.

Season 2: I forced myself to watch the first 5 episodes, in total astonishment / disbelief. And that's it, I'm outa' here. What the heck were they thinking?

They took a series that appealed strongly to intellectual viewers, and turned it into a completely absurd / non believable sci fi plot. - And an incredibly boring one at that.

I don't know if season 3 is good or not, but I'm not planning to find out. I'd rather do my taxes, or my laundry, or weed the garden......

Dear M. M. writers: I don't need my intelligence insulted yet again. I've already seen Game of Thrones season 8 & Killing Eve season three.

I hear that Home Depot is hiring. Perhaps you guys should apply.

Shaky Cam ! Shaky Cam ! Shaky Cam !

Loud Noises ! Loud Noises ! Loud Noises !

More Shakey Cam !

More Loud Noises !

After about 36 minutes of this excuse for not knowing how to actually direct an action film, Greengrass finally slows things down for a few peaceful seconds. It almost seems like there's now going to be some kind of interesting plot, but nope. Just a few lines to help move things along, so we can get back to the vomit-inducing shaky cam and loud noises. The actors basically phone-in their lines, and heck, why not? There's nothing interesting happening. They chase Bourne, he runs. Lots of cars crash. They chase some more. That's about it.

It's like a Saturday morning cartoon on crack, but with real actors.

The original Bourne Identity, expertly directed by Doug Liman, is one of my top 5 fav movies of all time.

Bourne's II and II, while damaged by Greengrass's utter lack of talent, were still somewhat watchable.

But this pile of pigs bollocks? No even close. After 40 minutes, I FF'ed to the middle. What a surprise, shaky cam and loud noises! And good actors saying their lines like they wanted to be somewhere else.

I FF'd to near the end: Same thing.

As with season 8 of "Game of Thrones," I'm going to pretend I never saw this travesty.

TRUE FACT: There is a scene in this movie at about the 56 minute mark, in which the two lead actors just sit in a car, not talking, while one of them eats a sandwich. This literally goes on for 70 seconds ! Not a word is spoken, we just watch Vince eat his sandwich. Then for another 30 seconds or so, Mel complains about how long it took Vince to eat it. I'm not joking. I guess the director thought it was really funny or something. This scene is a perfect microcosm of the entire film. It is STAGGERING slow, and staggering pointless. I'm stunned that anyone gave the greenlight to such a pathetic script, and I'm stunned that this "director" actually has a career in Hollywood. You have been warned.