stoopidmac

I heard before going to see this that Mr Tarantino loved this film, and so did Mr Jackson - if this is true, then those men have gone up even more in my respect> I loved this film - no, i really did; honestly - a group of seven friends went to a darkened theatre, and only one survived; the rest died in the agony of this film being, "terrible" did they say? "pointless", "toneless", "inconsistence" Jeez, i didnt know i was meant to be watching Lawrence of Arabia or something... Big

deal if it was some of those things - things which i have to agree on i guess, but goddam i enjoyed this piece of trash - from its trashy acting, to its trashy plot, location and characters, and to its Jaws like music - i loved it. The poster is going on my wall, right damn now -

NO PANCAKES!!

Devastation - there are many things that can, and will, devastate a person in his or her life. Akin to the devastation of this movie going experience, in a darkened theatre, is the devastation of its lack of power, its lack of damaging, its lack of emotionally caving power, to destroy me, on home video release.

in a darkened theatre my heart wept for every living man, who had to fight in any war, of any year in the existence of this world. The horror and the hollow

vacuum that my heart was drenched and sucked into, during the first quarter of this film, was unlike anything that had ever become of me. The experience was in fact so upsetting and demanding of my soul, that i repeated it - once again on my own, and once more with a friend. And the beginning, THAT beginning, beat

my heart faster as it crept into the cut, to the past, to the horror, the second viewing, and once again, the third viewing. At this point, this movie was the only movie, and it stuck with me, and moved me so much that it was at this point, the most amazing thing i had ever witnessed.

So why is it no longer even close to meaning as much to me?

in a darkened living room, as it crept into the cut, my heart barely beat a beat faster - at home, in comfort perhaps, this movie did nothing - and became

nothing more than a Spielberg movie, with Tom Hanks trying to save Matt

Damon.

All i could think, was how? How could this be released onto video, into the

comfort of homes, the comfort of bedrooms? Releasing this on video has

destroyed the movie. I only pray that one day, i will own enough equipment, to bring the heart out of the magnetic tape, out of the glossy DVD, bring the pain beyond Tom Hanks face, beyond John Williams music - and once again watch

the ghost of a battle, that terrified and took so many lives, as it once destroyed me, in that darkened theatre.

Ok, so i had the audacity to watch Jack Frost - although this was not through some purchase of my own, thank god, i thought, before watching the

predetermined terrible piece of trash - but my word, Jack Frost, was brilliant - well, perhaps a better word to use: it certainly was not brilliant, hilarious, but not brilliant; unfortunatley i am not smart enough to find a better word suited to describe the film, so it must be left to "brilliant".

Jack Frost 2 on the other hand, was atrocious - and not in the same sense of the first film - this really truly was terrible. Jack Frost himself is barely seen, but constantly heard - like a narrator to the images of awfulness - but i will state, that this film did do one thing to me that the first one did not:

In Jack Frost, one line knocked me flat into histerics -

"Whats it like being immortal? ITS COLD!!"

I honestly never presumed that the film could have done such a thing to me, i was in tears, but that did not prepare me for the colossal voice over in The

Return of the Mutant Killer Snowman: can you guess it?

"Thanks for the nose, I'm off to the islands!!"

I nearly fainted; a friend was squealing like a dying pig - how could such a

terrible film, and such a terrible line, do such a thing to myself - and to my dying pig friend?

who knows, and who will ever know - maybe if they make a third one and it

holds another gem of disgrace, we can figure it out then, but until that

nostradamus-like-doomed-day-forseen,

we will wait

Rating: This film is skid, and not a thing more than that.