MikeyMo_nl

Strange movie this is. It's a typical 80's action movie trying to be a James Bond film (with Van Damme in the Jaws role) with two non-English leads (the heavy accents are all over the place) and it works on no level at all.

The story is plain stupid and could probably be resolved in real life through simple diplomacy or a quick Navy Seals operation. But of course this is one-man operation and boring it is...

Set against the background off Malta only one men can take on a ship full of evil Russians while entertaining his kids on vacation (and I'm not making that up). What surprises me about the man that goes by the codename of Black Eagle is how 1-dimensional his character is considering he has the most screen time and they tried to flesh him out by having his kids around. he stays bland, but then again he has no charisma at all...

Then Van Damme, here having about half the amount of lines Ah-nold had in Terminator he comes off as a baddie we all like. He gets more physics to display, he gets the cool moves, he even is more fleshed out (physical and character-wise) then the good guy. At the end I was just hoping Van Damme would knock his lights out.

Unless you're watching a horror film (allthough this movie is a horror to watch) you're not supposed to root for the bad guy. But I was. I'm thinking they re-shot scenes making van Damme's character more likable after the success of Bloodsport, but it messes the movie up even more....

Friday The 13th Movies aren't the most difficult movies to write. Basically it goes like this; Jason resurrects, we meet the potential victims, Jason kills a couple of locals/walk-on roles, we see the future-victims doing pot, skinny-dipping etc, it turns night, Jason comes, chops them off until there's only one or two left, the last survivors find a way to defeat Jason. Ambulances enter, end of story...

This movie has a couple of things going through it:

• A worthy adversary for Jason which delivers a good end-battle - An incredible make-up job on Jason - Interesting kills, he really uses all the tools in the shed in this installment... - A couple of nice T&A scenes (sue me, I'm a guy!)

Unfortunately, this movie has a lot more against it:

• The gore that was removed... we don't get anything which really makes the movie lose it's punch and it really is weird considering how brutal the first couple of flicks were compared to this installment - The light tone displayed in part 6 has been almost ditched completely. Only one or two kills are actually funny - No attractive cast; none of the cast members will be remembered 5 minutes after their death. One can say that this is the case with most of the cast in these series but I still remember Kirsten Baker skinny dipping in part 2, Stu Charno telling jokes in the same installment, Reggie the reckless in part 5 etc etc. Ask me about this installment and I can only say that it had a really unattractive lead in Lar Park Lincoln and that it had a doctor which I wish would be killed way sooner in the movie. If you have a movie in which most cast-members have no personality, at least make their faces memorable. Even the slut in this film had the appearance of an ice-queen.

But in the end the thing that destroys the movie entirely is it's plotting; Jason gets resurrected comes out of the water, ignores a knocked out teen on the boardwalk (as Tina was knocked out while resurrecting Jason), walks by the two houses filled with teens only to appear 5 miles from camp crystal lake and make his first kill. Then he goes back to where he came from and just ducks in and out of the bushes to kill someone occasionally (using a different garden tool every time). Some people seem to appear at random. Maybe it's me but I never saw the black couple at the party, they appear out of nowhere the next morning. The skinny-dip-girl and her boyfriend; who are they, where did they come from? Can't remember seeing them there earlier. Are they walk-on roles? Must be, but walk-on-roles are normally always established by the characters by saying something or being something; the couple in part 6 which are celebrating something, or the hitch-hiker in part 4, even Demon is practically a walk on role in part 5 as he and his girlfriend have one scene in the entire movie. It's a walk-on-role, but I still remember his name, that can't be said about almost any character in this movie.

This movie will probably be erased from my memory within a week, with the only things I can remember will be:

"oh yeah, the sleeping bag"

"That girl looked good underwater, and above actually"

"loved that hedge-trimmer/lawnmower thing"

I won't recommend this installment to anyone unless you're doing a marathon, and that's saying something coming from a guy who actually liked part 5! If you want to have an overview of the Jason Saga, just watch 1-4, 6 and then jump to the last 10 minutes of Part 9, do Jason vs Freddy and then watch the ultimate Jason film; Jason X. Just my 2 cents...

The problem with this movie is, that next to fact that has almost no laugh-out-loud-scenes, the protagonist of the movie, the Phat Mo'nique is all but likable. Yes, she's fat, hasn't been laid in 8 months, gets comments thrown at her head (which she can reply to) but that would make you think she herself would not make the mistakes other people make by judging her by her weight. Unfortunately, Mo'nique only likes men who are extremely handsome and have gone to the gym a lot. Next to that everybody who is thin is referred to as a skinny bitch, and if that girl happens to be white and have a black boyfriend it's even more terrifying according to Mo'nique as "they are stealing their men" She's constantly judging people by the way they look.

And we have to root for this woman.

So no humor and no likable lead-character makes this movie a bad one in my opinion.