Foggy-7

Terror Toons, starring porn icon Lizzie Borden and Beverly Lynne, has a bad porn feel to it, only without the titillating sex and nudity. And cohesive plot.

Candy and Cindy are sisters left home for the night when their dad and "mom" leave for a wedding. Cindy receives a DVD called Terror Toons, which unleashes supposed cartoon characters Dr. Carnage and Max Assassin.

I'll give Beverly Lynne and Kelly Liu credit, they at least try to do a halfway decent job, but they are let down by their director and the special effects department. Joe Castro doesn't so much film as he just happens to keep a camera in the room as his story unfolds. The special effects would be laughable if they weren't so nauseating...not nauseating in the sense of "ooh, brains" but in the sense of "ooh, special effects goop."

It took one person to come up with the story, and three to come up with the script. What exactly took three people? The tired cartoon characters running through doors in a hallway? The cop who likes donuts? Strip Ouija?

This is a horrible, hateful little movie that will make you wonder about humanity's capacity to come together and put together something so unbelievably awfully. Stay away from it.

Where to begin? How about the careless slaughter of most of the movies non-leads? How about the only-when-convenient concern about where life forms go after the death of the hosts? How about the complete lack of competence of Natasha Henridge's character? How about the elements pulled directly from Supernova (star of Jackie Brown as captain, brutally killed in first few minutes of film) and Pitch Black (person responsible for prisoner has addiction problem; convict is hero of film)?

No one in this movie thinks straight, acts intelligently. I can't work up any compassion for any character, because none of the roles have any. And how on earth did intangible beings build metallic weapons and a large shaft? Why on earth would Whitlock know whether or not nuclear explosion would kill the beings? And what Manifest Destiny garbage was Natasha's character spouting when justifying genocide?

A bad movie.

Some Nudity Required is one of those documentaries that reveal as much as the person trying to create the documentary as it does the subject. What does it reveal about B movies? Odette Springer's focus is definitely negative about the industry, but it's the words of the B-movie mavens that do the most damage, revealing the rampant and violent mysogyny prevalent among makers of B movies. What does it reveal about Odette? A lot...and proves she has a lot that she has a lot that she wants to let out.

The story of Maria Ford was also telling, and another great reason to see the movie.