studydna

Let me preface this review by saying that I had heard heaps of praise for this film. However, after having watched it myself I must say that I'm a bit disappointed.

While there is a great deal of emphasis on the martial arts choreography in this film, that seems to be the overriding -and only- leitmotif here- do whatever it takes to start another fight sequence. The performances were good, but I got up thinking that I missed something. I didn't. There just wasn't much there, except for some brilliant fight scenes. But in and of themselves, fight scenes do not make a movie great.

The cinematography was excellent, and perhaps deserving of an Oscar -but the original score was totally forgettable. Hans Zimmer should have won the Oscar hands-down for his scoring of 'Gladiator'.

'Crouching Tiger' was an entertaining movie, reminiscent of all those cheesy Kung Fu Theatre marathons I saw as a kid. But this movie simply fails to tell an intriguing story.

That's only my opinion...I'm sure that plenty of you will disagree. So be it -to each is own. It just didn't evoke any emotion in me.

Here's a suggestion: if you want to see an absolute masterpiece of Asian filmmaking, go rent 'The Seven Samurai'. In my opinion, Seven Samurai -Along with Ikiru (both directed by Akira Kurosawa)- are the most beautiful movies ever made.

My rating: 6/10

What a great movie! I had completely forgotten about this film -in fact, I hadn't seen it in over 20 years. Well, I rented 'The Cell' and while I was watching the scene where Jennifer Lopez is in her house with the television on, I noticed those blue aliens and the memories came rushing back! Of course, I came to IMDB to figure out what the title of the film was (it was in the trivia section of 'The Cell' review), and I was pleasantly surprised to find the title. I went and bought the DVD, which is truly outstanding! The basic premise of the movie is that a race of aliens keeps domesticated humans as pets, while eliminating their feral brethren in the wild. The story centers around Terr, who is rescued from a pack of cruel alien children by the daughter of a high-ranking official. Eventually he runs away and ends up meeting the humans living in the wild. They become tired of the treatment they suffer at the hands of the alien race, and seek to exact revenge on their captors.

This movie was made nearly 30 years ago, so the animation is not really comparable to modern-day animation, but the story and the plot transcend time. The premise of the film is as valid today as it was in the 70s.

The DVD edition of the movie comes with three additional animated shorts by Rene Laloux, and they are just as entertaining. This is a real gem of a movie...truly beautiful. My kids love it as well. A true masterpiece.

9/10.

This has got to be one of my all-time favorite cheesers. With awful acting, abysmal dialogue, and a senseless plot, this movie has all the makings of a classic stinker. Another thing to note is the soundtrack, which sounds like it was lifted from a B-grade porno flick, complete with wah-wah synthesizers and the "bow-chicka-bow-bow" reprisal.

Nicholas Worth, listed in the credits as "The Killer", or "The Strangler"' depending on which set you look at, delivers one of the most unintentionally hilarious performances as a deranged Vietnam veteran who likes killing young, beautiful women and then hovering over their bodies while laughing with his trademark wheezing...the guy is brilliant! Actually, that's just a joke, but then again, so is this entire movie. And why the hell do they call it "Don't Answer the Phone"? The only real phone calls of note are the ones he makes to Dr. Gail, the ultimate object of his violent misogyny. Worth has made another seminal performance this year (2000)... as the Soviet Premier in the game "Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2". Check him out, he rocks (or is that "reeks")?

However, I'd have to give the accolades for "Worst Perfomance in a Movie" to James Westmoreland. He is just plain AWFUL in this movie: contrived dialogue, stupid facial expressions, and a wardrobe that would make Wayne Newton jealous!

All in all, this is one of the best "bad" movies ever made, and I laugh uncontrollably every time I cue it up. If you're looking for 100% Velveeta, look no further: this is your movie!