DrLetoPicard

This is easily the worst adaptation of Greek mythology I've ever seen. It utterly fails as an adaptation of the original myth, inventing silly plot twists and reducing the 12 labours to... 3 or 4, I think. It makes up utterly needless things to try to integrate other myths in clumsy ways which bring into question the writers' having ever read the myths, like changing birds to harpies, lions to sphinxes, the Oracle of Delphi to Tiresias, and bulls to a pedantic version of Proteus, even integrating aspects, never seen outside of Sam Raimi's entertaining series, concerning his first marriage, to a woman with the co-opted name of one of the Furies so it sounds appropriate to the period.

I could accept much of that, but it also fails completely in pure film standards; most painful is the dialogue, leaden, portentous pseudo-Shakespearean tripe. It is a poor re-interpretation of the myths, making a sad attempt at the kind of post-modern revisionism that Crichton's "The 13th Warrior" attempted in regards to the Beowulf legend, while still including the strictly mythological elements such as clear interference from the gods and magical super-strength. A sad, sad failure of an entertainment experience, who I'm sure many of the quality actors involved regret deeply.

...it should be pointed out to those fervently defending it as "new" and "fresh" that this is a faithful remake of Billy Wilder's masterful "The Apartment", made back in 1960 and a Best Picture winner. The main difference is that the original was set in a large office building rather than a university. Jack Lemmon plays the lead; three co-workers of his keep pushing him out of his apartment so they can carry on illicit affairs, while he falls in love with the elevator operator who is dating his boss.

Those of you who enjoyed "Loser" will probably enjoy the original even more - fresher, funnier, edgier and darker. If "Loser" stood by itself, it wouldn't be a bad movie, but most critics naturally compared it to its superiour inspiration leading to a lot of negativity.

If you don't know the story behind it getting made - basically, Robert Kurtzman wrote the story, he wanted it turned into a screenplay. He did makeup effects on Pulp Fiction for free in exchange for Tarantino writing the screenplay.

There's basically two problems with the film. One, is that Rodriguez isn't all that good at the horror genre. The other is that the story has a few sour points - especially the ending, which feels artificial to me.

The first hour is great, because Rodriguez is good at that sort of story - gangsters on the run. It's so good, it makes the second half - the vampire story - a little too jarring. I love the concept of getting an extensive background on the characters involved in a horror film, instead of simply thrusting a bunch of people into a situation before we even get to know them. What sours it is how the vampire story is handled. It's very conventional. We get some additional characters to contend with in the second half, and while they're playing stereotypes on purpose, they seem too cartoonish even in the midst of gooey vampires. I will grant that Rodriguez has some fun with the stereotypes, though, such as Fred Williamson's speech.

That's the main problem with Rodriguez's vision. I don't like the vampires in the film. They're gooey and gross and ugly. Now, I'm not into the vampire mania of recent years, but I just found the vampires too uninteresting. They've lost what makes them unique as villains, and could be nothing than a bunch of raptors. The film also delivers just a touch too much gore - I like gore, but it has to be in proportion to the mood of the film, and this was a little heavy - not surprising considering the story came from a great splatter effects artist looking to show off his craft. Still, it detracts, especially after how nicely the scene where Clooney discovers what's happened to the hostage while he was picking up food is handled.

While this seems like I'm on the negative side of the film, I'm not - I love it. The dialogue, Tarantino's domain, is sharp, funny and interesting, just like his previous films. It's delivered very, very well by Clooney and the rest of the cast - moments such as his "Pyschos do not blow up when sunlight touches them!" speech, Juliette Lewis's casual "Thanks" after Clooney knocks out his brother, his dialogue with the hostage at the beginning of the film, and his and Keitel's dialogue on the way to Mexico. Great stuff, and it makes the film more than worth watching if you're a fan of the horror genre.

I also have to say that Salma Hayek's dance is possibly the most erotic thing ever put into a wide-release film. It's worth the price of admission alone.