carbonbit

I love screwball comedies so I get suckered into re-watching this one over again every few years because EVERYONE INVOLVED, on both sides of the camera, has contributed more than their fair share to many of the best of comedies ever made. I mean, a Hecht/Lederer/Diamond script directed by Howard Hawks? starring Cary Grant & Ginger Rogers with Charles Coburn & Marilyn Monroe thrown in for good measure?? On paper, this looks like the definition of, "can't miss." But the script is just flat and lame (and stupid) from first to last, I think that's the main problem, and none of the other participants seem able to rise above that primal sin. This is nobody's best work; it's not even anybody's very good work. (Re-reading that last line made me feel defensive on behalf of both Marilyn & Coburn, who do manage to maintain their usual high standards in support. Rogers & Grant, however, suffer from an almost unimaginable charisma brownout, both individually and as a team.)

LOTS of quirky casting in this one, with enjoyable cameos (Ethan Hawke, Rutger Hauer, RIHANNA!!, Clive Owen) throughout, and Cara Delevingne (better known as a model) was a very pleasant surprise, successfully delivering tough and funny as the moment dictated. But the main guy, this Dane DeHaan dude, was a total cipher; he did not have to be a brilliant actor to pull this off, but he did have to have SOMEthing going on, some spark, some pizzazz, and he is not up to anything like that, unfortunately. (Also, despite IMDB alleging he is in fact over 30, he looks about 16, which did not play at all either.)

The movie is visually lots of fun, the writing is somewhat banal, I guess, but did manage to provide moments for the cast to enliven, and they did; all except for the leading man. Did Besson cast him on a bet? He usually has pretty good instincts in this regard (witness Ms. Delevingne...), but going with the ultrabland DeHaan for this swashbuckling role was a film-crushing error in judgment. (It happens. Bye bye, $177,200,000!)

stick figure characters, recycled (from Star Trek, natch) plots & uniforms and... EVerything (how have they not yet been sued??), pedestrian writing (meaning even the stick figure characters don't get anything interesting to say or do). I suffered through the first three episodes, hoping, and then... the premiere of the ACTUAL new Star Trek show (Discovery) aired, emphatically underscoring that The Orville is just one too many light years and a thousand galaxies behind; it just flat stinks. I actually went on to watch episode 4 anyway (hoping...), but this is me beaming off The Orville's cheesy, wooden bridge for the last time.

oh, & Seth MacFarlane: NEVER cast yourself in anything, ever again; to the degree you have any talent whatsoever, semi-dramatic acting ain't it. this is a darn shame -- what could the world use more than a fun, interesting mold-breaking (eventually, maybe) Star Trek-modeled franchise? the head's in the right place here; just, from set design to the top, the creative talent seems to be somewhere else altogether.