brydye

THIS WILL BE VERY SHORT AND SWEET, MUCH UNLIKE THE ACTUAL MOVIE:

Overall, I actually liked it because is provided the prequel to the caped crusader's beginnings. But what were the producers/directors thinking when they cast the part...as I watched, I felt something was "wrong" with "Batman" and Bruce Wayne...I couldn't put my fishy-smelling finger on it until...presto!! Golly gee, Bat psychos!!

Then, I remembered where I last saw the actor, Christian Bales, playing in a movie. So why did they put the demented, psychotic "American Psycho" yuppie actor in the role of Batman...was that a not-so-cleverly disguised comment on Batman? The movie was far-fetched, as a super hero from a comic book ought to be, but had action...Liam Neeson had a cobb up his arse, was it because he did NOT want to be playing the mentor's part?

Should he go back to playing the "Leap of Faith" sheriff??? He's good, in the proper roles;otherwise, that cobb torments him and all the rest of us...I wasn't sure who the "chick" was at first....Katie Holmes really is a cutie...good job, Tom!! Does anyone notice how much she resembles American Idol runnerup Katherine McPhee???? No matter....she can hold my BAT-pecker anytime.....

Rating: PG-13 and bring vomit bag

This exciting movie ranks with the greatest "big snake" pictures throughout the anals (note: I purposely misspelled 'annals')of movie history, including "Boa vs. Python" and others.

Great name actors fill the movie. I always loved Jon Voigt's acting and Jennifer Lopez' body (or was it, I loved Jon's body and Jennifer's acting...NO, no, I'm pretty sure it was the first way I stated)

Lopez was just beginning to rise to stardom's top. Why she didn't become engaged to the Anaconda off-screen, I don't know, given her proclivities.

Voigt was at his best earlier in his career, with the immortal lines from "Midnight Cowboy" (1969 Best Picture)when he confessed, "I ain't a fur-real cowboy, but I AM one helluva stud!"

Voigt, with his indistinguishable, phantom-dialect disguised to be Hispanic (we think)he had more historic dialogue, such as the never-to-be-forgotten, "Mateo!! Mat-e-o!! Where are you!?"

Although the snake mercilessly climaxes this movie by swallowing Voigt, there could have been a much better ending. The snake, of course, is killed and burned -not before regurgitating Voigt (was he smiling?)...had he survived the fire, the snake would've died from indigestion.

A better finale would have had a voice over from Dustin Hoffman. There was a 'credit' to the movie for the "voice of the snake" (I really am unsure what the hell that means)..but the best ending would be the snake, in the Brooklynese of Ratso Rizzo says to Voigt, "Even you could score in Miami."

Now that would be a picture.

The Woodman, as Bill Murray used to call him, has NEVER let me down!

1970

I was sitting in my car necking and petting with Becky. I'd gone to the drive-in expecting only to get laid. When I heard sportscaster Howard Cosell doing the play-by-play on the speaker (not of Becky and I, but of the supposed assassination of 'el presidente' a la "Wide World of Sports")I put Becky aside and began watching a cleverly constructed farce that had me hysterical with laughter.

As the years passed, I read the New Yorker magazine essays by Woody and even saw him live, in person, in Niles, IL on my honeymoon! Yes, I took my new bride (definitely NOT Becky)to see & hear a new musician named Jim Croce, and to laugh with Woody at the Mill Run Theater.

Maybe his sense of poking fun is akin to my own, although Im decidedly neither Jewish nor New Yorker...but his eclectic combination of intellect, wit, cohesive plots and clever gags always amuses me..and keeps me laughing.

In one of his more serious, didactic yet funny works, I forget which...Woody's character waxes "What makes life worth living?" And concludes its the compilation..the cumulative total of the seemingly little but satisfying of life's trivialities and amusements...like "the Marx Brothers", his character said.

And, for me, through all these years....it's "Woody Allen"

SMALL TIME CROOKS is a true Woody Allen work -- The bungling crooks of the 'dumb & dumber' genre fail as expected, but become wealthy as their Cookie store camouflage unexpectedly is an instant success!

Many funny gags, good performances by costars. As usual...

Thanks, Woody.