conspracy-2

The most interesting thing about "Idiocracy" is not the premise ("people frozen in a pod and not re-animated until way past their sell-by-date", also known as the Grand Red Dwarf Rip-Off), nor is it the acting (forgettable at best, grating at worst. The only guy I actually liked was the fat dude in President Camacho's cabinet who laughs in an endearingly stupid way.) It's not the special effects (ye gods! Are we back to the Planet of the Apes, non-Wahlberg Edition?) or the conclusion (more predictable than the oldest joke in Captain Predictable's Deja-Vu Revue). No, what keeps me (mildly) interested is that I can't figure out if the movie is intentionally dumb.

Because, brother, it's dumb. Hoo-boy, is it dumb. If Jim Carrey hadn't grown up and become mediocre, this would have his name all over it. But at the same time, it's making a statement about how dumb things are becoming. So, there's that question: is the movie intentionally dumb, to a point where it's not at all obvious that it's intentional? Is it trying to guide us into a false sense of arrogant security as we say "man, that movie about the dumbing down of the world sure could have been done more intelligently". Is the director laughing at us behind our backs? Or is he, and the movie, just plain dumb?

Sometimes it only takes one film to move a director into my personal pantheon of great directors. It doesn't happen too often, but I can't think of a better way to hit the fast track than by presenting this film to me. Everything about this film is just astonishingly memorable. The world it portrays is not only original and chilling, but also utterly perfectly realized, with an incredible level of detail in the environment and camera-work which simply defies belief.

The story is simple, yet monumental; tiny, yet enormous.

This is a rare sort of movie. And a huge feather in the cap of Mr. Cuáron. I'll be keeping an eye out for you, mister...

One day, a board of movie studio executives were gathered around a big, big table. One of them burst out: "Guess what! I just signed a deal to make the Sleepy Hollow story into a movie!"

• "Get out!", said the others, "that cool story with the headless knight?"

• "The very same", the first one said, "and guess who will be writing the screenplay? Andrew Kevin Walker!"

• "No way!", the others shouted, "the guy who wrote Se7en and 8MM? That guy is a true master of the dark and the suspenseful! He'll make that story into the true underbelly of sleaze and grit it deserves! WOW!"

• "Wait a second", said one of the others, even though he was as excited as the rest, "won't the story lose the essential storybook feel if a realist like Walker is writing the screenplay?"

• "Never fear!", proclaimed the first, "because to direct this movie, I have none other than... Tim Burton! Complete with Johnny Depp and Danny Elfman, as always!"

• "Fantastic!", screamed one of the others, knocking his chair over backwards in excitement, "That's simply perfect! Burton's off-beat style will complement the story and Walker's gritty take on the story and make this the movie of the year!"

• "The decade!", screamed another.

• "The century!", shrieked a third.

• "Marvellous!", they cried. "Splendid! Wonderful! How did you do it?"

But one of the others, a reedy little man with spectacles, said: "I don't think it will be that good after all."

• "Not that good?", exclaimed the others, furiously, "weren't you listening? Burton! Walker! Depp!"

• "Furthermore", the reedy man carried on, "I think the end result will be disappointingly tame. There will be no sparkle, the actors will look like they don't really care about anything, and the whole thing will feel like a made-for-TV movie with a special effects budget."

• "Ridiculous!", hissed one.

• "Preposterous!!", seethed another.

But the reedy man was absolutely right.