Ardennes Fury

I don't really see a point in making a full review of this movie as others have beaten me to it. The fact that it has a rating of 2 would imply that some children have watched it and that they also had access to the internet to click the IMDb scoring system. I gave it a "1" because I cannot choose zero!!

I managed to last five minutes before I turned it off.

Since watching this movie I have applied for the Medal of Honour because I feel I deserve it for actually lasting 5 minutes!! The worst part is that somehow I have to come up with at least 10 lines to write about this movie regardless of the fact that the title summary says it all!! Yes, it is that bad!

This is an obvious attempt to confuse buyers who are looking for a major motion picture with a similar name. This is not the first time this has been done, nor will it likely be the last.The hasty DVD buyer, be it for himself or purchased as a gift, will see the prominent word "Fury" and think he's picked the right one.

This is a common scam and some two-bit "production company" will make a few bucks on this junk.

You can search the word "mockbusters" and find plenty of examples of copycat films and/or titles attempting to capitalize on the publicity and public interest about a quality, big budget film.

The sad part is that once purchased it will be too late for the victims of this deception.

I'm not usually one to pick on small details or historical inaccuracy, but this was too much. Having wasted 90 minutes of my life, the least I could do now is help spare someone else from the same fate.

A point form summary of why/how this film is awful, in the order I noticed them when I was watching it.

• the fireballs from when tanks fire at each other are glaringly obviously CGI animations and look completely unrealistic

• the soldiers shoot at each other while standing in front of their respective tanks, while those tanks fire at each other

• the Germans are unbelievably dumb and also can't shoot for their life (literally). They're also apparently using Soviet T-34 tanks.

• the Germans also speak English. To each other. They may throw in occasional German words, like "Ja, officer" or "Granate". You know, German phrases easily understood by a typical American audience. It's ridiculous. And it occurs repeatedly, constantly reminding you of how absurd this film is.

• when three German soldiers (one an officer with an STG assault rifle) see two Americans carrying small tanks of fuel, they prefer to run after the Americans while firing single shots (and missing all of them) instead of just stopping to get a clear shot at the enemy. Oh, did I mention the two groups were running about 5 meters apart?

• when kids head loud sounds, they may or may not randomly run away from the protection of their parents and friendly soldiers, out into the woods, getting themselves killed/captured

• if a sniper shoots directly at an American in an open field, the bullet somehow manages to ricochet off his helmet.

• killing several German fire teams is no sweat, but when you meet another in your way, the Americans decide that the 4 guys standing out in an open road is suddenly too much for them to take.

• sneaking around four guys on a road by going around through the forest apparently takes an extra 20 minutes, making that a non-option

Here's the last and arguably most laughable part. I'd almost suggest you get the movie simply for this part simply because of it near- comedic aspect.

• hitting someone's head with a small MP40 submachine gun will cause their head to become a pile of gory god knows what. I couldn't even see a face. It looked like the guy's head disappeared and there was some scattered mass blood, brains, and whatever else what where his head used to be. That's the result of an injured man hitting another man with a small metal object 3 times.

That's all I can remember off the top of my head, but there's undoubtedly so much more.

It's hard to write 10 lines of text about this movie, there is absolutely no story, no action in this movie. Young boys with toy guns walking in the field, "fighting" in """big""" groups (3-4 solider per act). Toy tank shutting point blank range without hit! Germans in t34 with Russian marking, panzer iv made out of wood. Effects added in post processing by some kind of overlay layer? SonyVegas may by or any other Windows Home Movie Maker Amateur software. Absolutely no recoil on the guns. Poor acting, solider standing still in middle of the filed with no cover shouting with m1 to a tank. Mixed ww2 weapons with modern. Do not bay this move... please.

Ardennes Fury is a very poorly done movie that does more wrong than it does right, but ranking it in The Asylum consistently dubious filmography it is nowhere near their worst. It at least has some very nice scenery and some of the pacing is tolerable, but Ardennes Fury had a low-budget and had little time to be made and unfortunately it does show. There are worse-looking Asylum movies around, at least the scenery looks like scenery and not like someone's basement or a deserted factory, but the camera work and editing are incredibly rushed and erratic, the special effects are artificial at best and look like over-sized toys and the movie is shot far too drably. The music is loud but not dynamic and could have done with more pulse, some of it is overly-loud drone-like, the best parts not being very memorable. The dialogue has a lot of military jargon and they're often incorporated in a clumsy way, the script itself is very stilted and disjointedly structured. There is at least a story here, the problem is it is also very basic and repetitive, granted it's good to keep things simple sometimes but when not much happens it actually feels simplistic instead. The dramatic parts lack any kind of heart and veer on overwrought while the battle scenes are erratically edited and have very little spirit and intensity. Much has been said already about the inaccuracies there are here(as well as the kitchen-sink-like clichés Ardennes Fury has), but this review is not going to comment on them other than that some of the inaccuracies are so blatant and wrong that it's ridiculous but rather on the movie's merits(or lack of). The characters are too stock and underwritten to be interesting, and while there is effort to show some conflicts and consequences there's very little if any emotional depth behind them. The acting is stiff across the board especially from the villains, who are also overacted too and hugely unconvincing as Germans. Overall, The Asylum has done much worse than Ardennes Fury, but Ardennes Fury regardless of the effort it did make had very little good going for it. 2/10 Bethany Cox