Piranha Sharks

First things first, will admit to not expecting much. The premise sounded ridiculous and it looked pretty bad. Even when trying to find some good in them, although there are good ones ('Jaws' being the king of them all) and some guilty pleasure ones shark films generally have not scored highly with me even when trying to take them for what they are.

Before anybody gets defensive, am well aware that films like 'Piranha Sharks' are not ones to be taken seriously. Have seen my fair share of low-budget shark films, and any other kind of low-budget creature film, and will admit to finding some guilty fun in some of them (i.e. the first two 'Sharknado' films). There are marginally worse shark films than 'Piranha Sharks' certainly. Sadly 'Piranha Sharks' is just too amateurish to accept as a guilty pleasure, where nearly everything is just poor quality that it's insulting and there is nowhere near enough fun, intentional or unintentional, moments.

Was not expecting anything intelligent here, am well versed now to know that it is not that kind of film, but 'Piranha Sharks' does feel like it was made by somebody who didn't know how to give a film brains, so much so that it'll make the viewer feel dumb and that is not a nice sensation to feel watching a film.

'Piranha Sharks' does have a couple of small redeeming quality. The opening scene was actually pretty entertaining, something that put the viewer in the mood for some very dumb but guilty pleasure fun. Unfortunately, it rapidly fell downhill, where ridiculousness and cheapness amongst other things were taken to extremes.

Kevin Sorbo also tries his best to inject some energy into his role.

Visually, 'Piranha Sharks' is yet another low-budget shark attack film that looks cheap and like it was made with no budget, heart or enthusiasm. Any nice scenery that the movie has is difficult to appreciate when the movie is shot in such a drab way and when it's edited so amateurishly that bacon-slicer-like editing looks more refined. Worst of all in this regard are the effects, as it was made on low-budget it would have been forgiven a little if it was not great, but when the effects for the shark look as if no effort was given in making them without looking so goofy and unfinished-looking that is hard to ignore.

The opening scene apart, so the shark's lack of presence or personality, it's not menacing, it's not scary and it's not fun, it's not even strong enough to bring any unintentional humour or goofiness, that's how bland it is. The music is very generic and adds very little, it's not always appropriate either and quite a lot of it is actually pretty annoying.

Writing ranges between incredibly bad to appalling. Any comedy is incredibly forced and is so cheesy it is enough to make the eyes roll in disbelief, while the more serious moments are very awkwardly written and as trite as anybody can possibly go. Regarding the shark attacks, some are rushed, others are badly drawn out. They lack any kind of suspense and the over-silliness to the point of intelligence-insulting stupidity, terrible shark effects, bad editing and even more gratuitous gore further cheapen them.

Describing the story as weak is being too insulting to the word weak, it is a very lethargically paced and thin as ice story with lots of padding that is either badly written or serves no point at all to the movie, other than attempts at novelty value, which falls flat on its face because it all feels so tired. It is not fun, it is not scary and it is not thrilling or suspenseful, it's just nothing but tired stupidity.

As for the characters, that they're tired cliches isn't so much a problem, the problem is that they are either obnoxious with them constantly doing stupid things, so bland that it makes zombies seem more animated or both. Some of them are superfluous to the story or come and go out of nowhere constantly. The direction is as flat as a pancake, and the acting is amateur hour awful, apart from Kevin Sorbo trying his best.

Overall, a mess. 1/10 Bethany Cox

This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Bad acting, bad talks, bad scenes and bad graphics. The piranha sharks are like a joke and the characters are kinda dumbs. Don't wast your time watching this movie.

Launching a new product on the market, the creators of a new holiday creation involving genetically mutated great white sharks to be the size of piranhas to use as pets find the fish have gotten free and ravaging the city, forcing them to turn to a pair of inept exterminators to stop them.

This was a pretty underwhelming if still slightly watchable effort. One of the only positive aspects here is the cheesy nature of how the sharks are brought about and created. Managing to focus on introducing the creatures as a Christmas present for people during the holidays and realizing too late that they're still vicious killing machines shows a rather intriguing set up here, and allows for quite a few decent attacks as a result. The swarming of the dancer friend in the bathtub offers a great attack, while the massive attack at the strip club on the various patrons has quite a lot to like.with all the attacks and gore. With the finale having some nice bits of suspense with the race to stop them against the deadline coming alongside the ravenous shark attacks as well as the fine practical effects for the creatures, these are what the film manages to get right. There were a lot of issues to be had with this one. One of the biggest problems is the fact that hardly anything happens here for so long that it's just not that interesting or enjoyable. This one manages so few attacks with the sharks that it's entirely possible to forget that's what the film is about as the series of setups about the company trying to find the gift for the holiday season, the struggles of the exterminator company to stay afloat and his life problems that all manage to take center stage instead of the sharks. It takes so long before they become a focal point that it's nearly half-over before they're a factor in the film and take the lead in the film. The other issue here is that the film, for as short as it is, manages to rush itself through several sections when it wasn't necessary. The creatures go immediately onto the market and seem to overtake the city without any kind of special notice or mention, as that whole section is completely glossed over. The need to show the ineptitude of the kidnapping goes nowhere when the entire thing is forgotten about almost immediately afterward to team up against the creatures while the finale here is the biggest culprit since there are whole swathes of the story this jumps past that show how the fish are stopped and everyone is alerted about being saved. It serves a needed function but stands out to hold this down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.

Piranha Sharks (2014)

** (out of 4)

A bunch of lab people create sharks that are the size of piranhas but contain just as much danger. Soon these are being sold as "hot Christmas items" but before long they begin eating people.

PIRANHA SHARK is pretty much what you'd expect out of a made-for-TV movie called PIRANHA SHARK. We've basically got a rather silly idea and all of the silly nature plays out in front of your eyes for the 80-minute running time. If you're already familiar with these types of movies then you know what to expect and for the most part this one here is decent. There are certainly much worse out there while this doesn't quite reach the levels of something like SHARKNADO.

I thought the actual highlight of the picture where the sharks because they were rather fun and the attack scenes were decent especially one lady who is taking a bath when the creatures show up. While this is the highlight of the film there's no doubt that the disappointment comes from the fact that there aren't enough of these scenes. There is way too much time with characters just rambling dialogue and it's too bad we didn't get more action.

The performances are pretty good for the most part with Kevin Sorbo getting the richer role as the Mayor who must please his voters or at least appear to. I thought Sorbo was rather fun in a role that joked on his looks to women and his way of being able to get away with anything.

PIRANHA SHARKS isn't a masterpiece, that's for certain but at the same time it's a decent "C" movie that has some mild entertainment.

I'm not going to enter a long review here. I will have a complete review at Ruthless Reviews, check us out. Anyway, about the movie... I thought that it was a pretty outstanding effort for what it was. Let's be realistic, these guys are going to lose money on this film, and I hate that. It was a great effort and a study in the concept of not letting your reach exceed your grasp. The acting was amazingly competent and hilarious. The editing and cuts were surprisingly crisp. I liked it, I really did.

I appreciate the "reach out" from the makers of the film. We were both appalled by the lasted Sharknado pile of **** from Asylum. I just wish that this film could have more exposure, but alas, it will die a unnoticed death.