ALVO SECRETO

I love Tim Roth and Aaron Eckhart USED to be a reliable choice for an entertaining film. Every actor, no matter how successfull, manages to be in bad films. Usually they still manage to be decent even if everything around them is terrible.

Unfortunately, when you have a bad script, there's not much you can do. It's even worse when you're saddled with a really bad and unconvincing performance from a main actor. That's what you get here. I really hate bashing anyone for their acting skills, but the actor playing his "daughter" was absolutely terrible! It was a cringe-worthy effort on her part. I had mental images of Eckhart thinking to himself "WTF" everytime she was on screen.

Roth looked like he signed on for an easy three-day assignment and a paycheck... he was barely there. He tried with what they gave him, but there was really nothing to work with.

It was terrible, absolutely no redeeming qualities... even if you're a massive Roth or Eckhart fan.

I like Tim Roth. I like Aaron Eckhard. What drove them to take part in such a disaster?

The combat scenes are so extremely dumb that Shoot Em Up looks like a documentary compared to this. They managed to mess up even the slightest detail. Mercenaries without body armor, not hitting a barn door from close up, even when they surprise the protagonist. Sure. Oh, and always attack one by one, so the hero wins!

Nothing makes any sense. Fittingly, the CGI is awful.

And, yeah, the rest of the "story" fits right in. The premise is so idiotic that even a little more effort on the writing couldn't have saved it. My guess is they knew, so they didn't bother anyway.

I think this is the worst movie I've ever seen, honestly that bad. Everything's bad, the script, characters, fight scenes, never ending shoot scenes... the bad guy with an awful haircut talking like a machine (it could be for all I know).

Aaron Eckhart used to be a great actor but now got stuck in useless action b-movies, not sure what he can do about it anymore. Abigail Breslin is unrecognisable and totally miscast (MI6 agent speaking with an American accent and no one questioning it among many other flaws as a character).

Save yourself and skip this one.

Tim Roth, I hope you've been well compensated.

In short, f-grade acting, f-grade dialog and the whole thing looks like it was filmed on a Samsung S9+ and then color graded with a potato. Seriously, a random, free LUT from the Internet slapped on everything.

Drone spots seem to be done with a DJI Air, main lighting dive with a subtle Aputure without bounce or softbox.

Also, the entire island of Malta seems to be devoid of other people or bystanders. Rooms are also very very foggy. Shootout scenes take place within a 10m radius and were filmed with compression ratio 200:1, with weird purple smoke explosions.

Elementary school students would have done a better job with their iPhones and some flower on a rainy afternoon on a Sunday.

Can't believe they dragged Aaron Eckhart into this.

After 20 minutes, this film nosedives into the ground and slowly implodes, leaving another 80 minutes of predictable dross.

It starts out as a stylish thriller, but the script, and the 'by the numbers plot' let it down, as does the terrible, terrible casting. Tim Roth hasn't done a decent film in almost a decade and is pretty embarrassing in this. The less said about Abigail Breslin, the better. She is a disaster.

This is probably the only film you'll see which has a sniper sequence where the sniper 'hides' in a pool of light. The chief bad guy is pretty funny with his massive GPS screen somehow tracking Eckhart's every move until the plot requires "he must be somewhere that hasn't got a good GPS signal".

The action scenes are boring; John Wick lite.

I have to give him some credit though. Roel Reine did a good job with the cinematography and the soundtrack.