Meteoro: O Fim dos Tempos

A huge meteor is about to crash into the earth killing everyone. Our government springs into action and assigns a grand total of six people to work on the problem.

The team gets down to work by watching old movies and decides Deep Impact looks like fun. They find an old space shuttle from the retired program (probably the one in the Smithsonian), fill the tank, light the fuse, and off they go. No spoilers but if you're alive to read this you can figure out they succeeded.

The acting is bad. Really bad. Like bad for Asylum bad. If you don't know what that's like imagine your personal worst-actor-ever nominee and remove that individual's ability to remember lines and move their facial muscles.

The CGI is actually better than usual for Asylum, but that isn't saying much. It's the practical effects that let them down. There is gravity in space. The surface of the asteroid has plants. The costumes are from a popup Halloween store.

The drama is gripping. The world is about to end and our lead hero asks his team if they want to bail on the rescue mission "because most of you probably have families". None of our heroes take him up on his offer. A couple minutes later he gives the exact same speech and asks again. In a surprising turn of events none of our heroes take him up on his offer. That's good writing.

Asylum is celebrating its 25th anniversary. Over the past twenty five years the only thing the brain trust in the Asylum has learned is that people have different sexual preferences. We're informed our male hero is gay as is our female pilot. It has nothing to do with anything but there you go.

One half a star compared to a professionally produced. For an Asylum film that's average. Five stars.

We like to put on the news or anything very common when cooking or eating when we let the TV set on.

This time we just picked this one on and it's been exactly what you should expect when reading this ridiculous title !

The plot is easy to keep on, it's just a copy of Armageddon"s. But it's missing Ben Affleck, no love story as it's amed at kids audience.

The CG is above the average of the other B-movies. The acting is better than expected. I mean, above 2/10 movies.

The dialogues are really, really funny. They're so much stupid that I guess they had a lot of fun writing it. "That each one be at peace with his God" (or something like that). And many other ones. And when they cried we laughed out very loud.

The fun was to guess in which order each city was going to be destroyed. (I lost, no World's Capitals, just US cities...).

We laughed a lot, much more than with most of today's comedies.

At least, this movie is very okay for kids.

Have fun.

This movie is so cheap they didn't even bother getting an actual general's uniform. The just pinned random badges to a blue suit. They're traveling in a space shuttle, but it looks like a makeshift room in a warehouse, with regular gravity. The "special effects" were done with the new Windows Vista operating system.

The Asylum is known for schlocky movies, but this one is even more cheaper looking than usual. Do these actually make ANY money? Other than confusing people when they're looking for the original movie.

Bruce Willis may need to sue for defamation. This is just another embarrassment.

I went into watching this with an open mind, knowing it was never going to be the best disaster movie ever made, and I was right. Everything from the story, acting, music and special effects where a joke. In many scences you could see errors in the background, such as bushes on a meteor, and sound effects that aren't timed correctly with the action. The acting is woeful, I've seen better at primary school nativity shows, every line was wooden and had no passion or belief to it. You could tell they were just reading from the script and left you in no doubt they couldn't care less about the realism. The costume designer needs shooting. Bike helmets, plastic backpacks and silver skin tight gloves for landing on a meteor? I'm 100% the local am dram could produce better with the contents of the recycling bin and a trip to hobby craft.

Even if you have time to waste, and like a cheesey made for tv movie, don't bother with this, you'll be wishing for a meteor to put you out of your misery after 10mins.

This film was actually hilarious with how much it doesn't try to suspend your disbelief.

Besides the fact they were using obviously using motorcycle helmets rather than astronaut helmets (which I'm sure are cheap enough to get on amazon or something), when they were on the asteroid, there was OBVIOUS VEGETATION IN THE BACKGROUND! They didn't even try to hide it. It was right in your face. You could even see power poles in the distance. There were tire tracks on the ground (not from the rover). You could even see the shadow from the camera guy in one of the shots. At least try to make me imagine you're in space and not on earth.