Hidden in the Woods

Horrible acting along with a horrible story line. It's been a long time since I seen a movie this bad....

The very idea of transposing a story so obviously set in a machismo banana republic to America is idiocy on a level all its own.

But apart from that, I'm having trouble deciding which was more painful here: The amateurish writing, the cheap iPhone look of the digital photography, the incompetent editing, the dead-voiced rendition of Amazing Grace over the end credits, or the knowledge that Michael Biehn has fallen so far as to produce and headline in dreck like this.

The fact that I managed to sit through this mess should be testament to my tolerance level, as should the fact that I've given the film two stars rather than one, just because it has William Forsythe in it. Even he can't do anything with the ridiculous clichés he's given to work with, though.

I'm sure someone will tell me that I should watch the original to see a better version. But I'm not going to. If the second time around is this bad with the same director at the helm, how good can the first one be?

If you want to see a really good version of this film. Watch the original Chilean version. Its in Spanish with English subtitles but its a lot better than this atrocity. And Michael biehns acting was horrible. And i like Michael biehns acting too. But this was his worst.

Imagine if family favourite 'The Dukes of Hazzard' had been produced by Freddie Krueger, this is the kind of thing you might have ended up with. Raucous, coarse, loaded with every variation of every expletive you have ever heard; brutal, violent and completely ridiculous, 'Hidden in the Woods' is, if you're in the right mood, highly entertaining.

There's nothing like a father's love, is there? "Nobody messes with my babies," says Oscar Crooker (Michael Biehn) at one point. To list the depravities this man has subjected his 'babies' to would be to venture into spoilers. He's a phenomenally diabolical character - and he's in good company.

The atrocities heaped on various characters are relentless and appalling, but there's a dank humour in there also, and despite being shocking, the films is a highly entertaining way of spending just over 90 minutes. 7 out of 10.

First of all if you're looking for an Academy Award winning ground breaking high budget blockbuster film you can skip this one. I first watched this film within the past year and now I've seen it a half a dozen times. It has so much going for it that I never tire from reviewing. Michael Biehn stars in his most sadistic and downright mean character to date and delivers a brilliant performance. William Forsythe adds to the mix beautifully as usual. The cast overall meshes perfectly as well. I'm not going to spoil any plot points but I will say if you enjoy horror, thriller, and/or action films this one blends the genres effortlessly so this might be for you. I like the gritty, backwoods feel which umbrellas the atmosphere of the movie. This remake sports the same director as the original so the intentions are not lost. Finally there are great one-liners in the excellent script. One warning though: If you are squeamish when in comes to uncomfortable domestic situations and cold blooded murder then you might want to opt for Dory or Madea.