Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader

As one who remembers the Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, I was hoping that the special effects would have improved after 55 years. Well, the improvement was not worth the viewing. I suppose the 1993 made for TV version will still be the 'next best thing'. Ms. Jenna Sims was respectable as Cassie, the cheerleader, although her general beauty was as poorly concealed in the beginning as her beast implants were in the end. Ms. Olivia Alexander had the role of character with the most attitude, head cheerleader Brittany, though Treat Williams went sufficiently over-the-top as the pharma-mercinary. Sean Young played 'mom' by Skyping-in her performance, literally. Everyone else was either adequately camp or, sometimes, momentarily cute. The best scenes were also the shortest.

The one thing that I do not understand if the use of remanufactured breasts. If you are going to show bosoms, the show ones that look real. Ms. Sims, an otherwise lovely lady, displayed breasts that would shame most plastic surgeons. Most of the others topless actresses were similarly endowed. The most nuanced and effective character was Mary Woronov as the house mother, who was part Masterpiece Theater and part House of Horrors.

As for the plot, yes there was a plot, the story held up. University research onto cell regeneration turns into an overblown disaster. Of course, people growing and shrinking like balloons was completely implausible, but that was par for the movie. The pharma angle, which included clown-like pharma-enforcers was the only truly camp acting that held up, mostly thanks to Treat. The chemistry between the Ryan Merriman character, Kyle, and Cassie was as contrived as the pink serum that made her grow. The big finale might have worked if the special effects had really held their own.

One last mention of Sean Young, if you are old enough to remember Ms. Young in Blade Runner (when it premiered), then this movie will make you quite sad. Still a looker, the actress who played Jenna's mom was a total waste in this production. If you looked closely, you could still see tiny hints of the actress who was so compelling in Jane Austen in Manhattan and No Way Out. However, you had to look though a microscope, which is a hard way to watch a movie. Such is life.

So Roger Corman and John Landis decided to do an intentionally cheap and campy twist on The Attack of the 50 FT Woman.

The problem with camp is that it typically isn't appreciated until at least 10 years after being released, with 20 years being even better.

As such, right now, this movie just comes off as CHEAP, unfunny, uninspired, and mostly uninteresting.

To be frank, there is one reason to watch this movie and that is the spectacular body of Jena Sims, the lead, who is either topless or in a skimpy cheerleader outfit for most the show.

In fact, besides Jena, you see a number of topless babes in this movie. However, the nudity is all in a non-sexual context.

I give it a 5 on Jena's impressive assets alone.

It's bad on purpose. Fun slapstick movie straight out of the 80's great for mindless entertainment.

Ahh - here's another flick - that (much like "Girls Gone Dead") some people can't seem to enjoy for whatever reason. Is today's generation too serious? Not every movie needs to deliver a deep philosophical undertone and dark punch-line.

Growing up on things like Joe Bob Briggs and all things 80's (and pushing 40 myself) - how could I resist a movie that features Ted Raimi; John Landis; Treat Williams; Sean Young; Roger Corman himself and even a (hilarious) cameo from John Landis?

This flick is a nice satire on "Attack of the 50ft Woman" - and includes some memorably campy moments - and gobs of female nudity.

On the downside - some of the effects work is pretty bad - and NOT in a good way - which; surprisingly made the viewing experience a bit worse (as opposed to the usual cheese which heightens the B movie experience).

Either way - it's good to see popcorn movies like this are still being made - and I hope there continues to be an audience for good old fashioned fun. I can't take anymore "reality-based" PG-13 horror flicks and torture porn diatribes.

Surprised this one slipped under the radar - but I was lucky enough to catch in on Netflix.

Recommended.

Attack of the 50 Ft. Cheerleader (2012)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Lame take-off on ATTACK OF THE 50 FT. WOMAN has scientist and average looking Cassie Stratford (Jena Sims) taking an experimental drug that turns her into a beauty. At first the drug is great because she looks good, makes the cheerleading squad and is popular but soon she sees the side effect in that she can't stop growing. You know, I've always wondered why some bad movies turn into cult classics that are fun to watch while others are just downright bad. It seems movies from the golden age of "so bad they're good" films just happened by chance. Moving like the original ATTACK OF THE 50 FT. WOMAN or ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES just got lucky when they became entertaining. I really do think that if you set out to make a camp film then you always fail and here's the perfect example. It really seems like everyone thought they could just make fun of the set-up and everything would fall into place but that doesn't happen. This is a pretty lame film from producer Roger Corman who thankfully makes a cameo with John Landis, which turns out to be the most memorable moment in the film. As you'd expect, there's all sorts of cute girls getting naked but there's very little outside of this. The entire story is pretty stupid, there's no laughs to be had and there's really just nothing going on here that makes you care about anything. It's overly stupid in a bad way and this is where the film tries to be camp but it just doesn't work. I thought Sims was good in her role but one wishes she had something better to work with. Fans of Sean Young might want to check out her few scenes but she doesn't get too much to do. ATTACK OF THE 50 FT. CHEERLEADER is far from a fun movie, which is a real shame.