- Jett: What's up, big mama?
- Cassie Stratford: Nothing much. Just growing into a gigantic mutant. You?
- Jett: Better than you.
- Dr. Higgs: [upon discovering Cassie's growth] I think my aorta just crapped its pants.
- Kyle: You grew again?
- Cassie Stratford: [admiring her feet in the pool] My little piggies look like fat hogs! The ReNew compound must have altered my hypothesis.
- Dr. Higgs: Yes, resulting in extreme gigantism.
- [stepping forward to see more of her]
- Dr. Higgs: It's truly amazing.
- Cassie Stratford: [annoyed] Be amazed from over there, Dr. Feelgood.
- Mr. Gray: These middle-aged broads come out of facelift surgery and their throats still look like my Uncle Bob's scrotum!
- Kyle: ReNew is actually morphing chromosomes. It's aiding replication so that only the healthiest cells undergo mitosis.
- Cassie Stratford: In other words, it turns ugly - into cute.
- Mr. Gray: I have one question. Will it work on titties?
- Brittany Andrews: If you want to be a Zeta Mu, you have to earn it. Starting tonight! Strip!
- Zeta Sister #1, Zeta Sister #2, Zeta Sister #3: Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!...
- The Buccaneer: Lap it up until the last drop. I know mermaids that can suck the barnacles off my ship quicker than you. Now, lap! Come on, now. Faster, will you. That's right.
- Tiff: I almost peed on myself!
- Mac: Sorry, baby, I couldn't help myself.
- Tiff: Well, you'll be helping yourself from now on. I hope you and your hand will be very happy together.
- Mac: Come on, Tiffy. Don't be like that. We got the showers to ourselves. I thought we could do the sexy slip-n-slide.
- Tiff: No! You smell like a hobo! Go take a shower. And find your wallet. Cause you're taking me out for lobster.
- Professor: What's the school afraid of? That I'm going to use the F-word or maybe show one of the coeds my stimulus package?
- Kyle: At least let us monitor your condition before all this pom-pomming sucks your IQ dry.
- Cassie Stratford: What'd you say?
- Kyle: You heard me. The Cass I knew was a scientist. Now, you've thrown all that away to be some bimbo cheerleader.
- Cassie Stratford: I happen to like cheerleading.
- Kyle: You took an experimental compound to impress some pom-pom waving twit?
- Cassie Stratford: You should be happy! ReNew works better than we imagined. There's just one tiny side effect.
- Kyle: Tiny? I wouldn't call this tiny, Cass. You're a she-hulk!
- Brittany Andrews: Welcome to the 12th annual undies fun run! All proceeds benefit testicular cancer research. So screw you cancer! Keep your hands off our balls!
- Kyle: This is okay. We can - yeah, we can fix this. No problemo.
- Cassie Stratford: Really? I look like a slutty Statue of Liberty and you say no problemo?
- Cassie Stratford: I'm sorry, Doc. The ReNew compound must be making me more spontaneously aggressive.
- Dr. Higgs: Yes, among other side effects.
- Jett: He was kinda cute in his nerdy puppy kind of way.
- Cassie Stratford: You noticed that too, huh?
- Jett: Yeah. It's a shame you'd have to go spelunking to have sex with you though.
- Mr. Gray: Listen, you eggheaded pussy, there is no right or wrong. Just - profit and loss. And right now, your freaky cheerleader has profit written all over - her perfect, gigantic ass.
- Mr. Gray: Tough luck, kid. By now her vagina is a frickin' echo chamber. You're just gonna be yodeling in the canyon. Yodel-Lay-Hee-Hoo!
- Mr. Gray: You better believe it, buster! Because its simple and logical and most people are frickin' morons.
- Brenda Stratford: You know my motto: a set of boobs never gets old, they just get better plastic surgeons.
- Cassie Stratford: I will not be Zem-Chem's science experiment.
- Mr. Gray: Well, you should have thought of that before you injected company property up your ass!
- Sophia Long (News Reporter): So help me Bob if you're not getting this I'll turn your nut sack into a coin purse.
- Bob the Cameraman: I'm gettin' it. I'm gettin' it.
- Cassie Stratford: It's like life is taking a steaming pee on my birthday cake.
- Jett: Would ice cream help?
- Cassie Stratford: Twenty gallons. Mint chocolate chip.