Ataque do Tubarão Mutante

I'm curious as to who bank rolls movies like this? I get it, its not suppose to be a 'serious' movie; really the name of the movie says it all, however.... you've got to make the storyline at least a bit believable or at least entertaining. This movie fits in the same class as Piranha 3D and Shark Night. However i'd rather watch either of those over again before watching this movie. The acting is terrible, and if this is the platform Brooke Hogan plans on launching her acting career... I suggest she slap on some spandex and hop in the WWE ring instead. And what about poor Carmen Electra? Clearly she's needing some cash or at the least some exposure in front of the camera because her suntan scene (no nudity) was ridiculous...

When I watch a total crapfest like this, it makes me wonder how the brilliant Battlestar Galactica ever aired, especially on this Lowest Common Denominator channel. Anyone else remember when this was a GOOD channel? When they showed 50's classic, SF Pilot Playhouse, etc? Now it pummels the audience with garbage like this, filled with has beens and never were's, edits out the softcore nudity and sex (for the DVD's and Europe I imagine). Anyone remember when a B movie was worth seeing? This absolute turd sandwich of a movie featured horrible effects, worse acting and a dumb story that had really nothing going for it. I know, I know, I didn't have to watch it. I know that. But it's like being hypnotized. One wants to look away, but we can't. WE CAN'T. I'd say this, avoid at all costs, unless you want to save money on a sleeping pill. It's simply that horrible.

Movie review:After posting the trailer, I just couldn't wait to watch this one. This movie was so bad, it kept my attention in between sessions of gargling hydrochloric acid to null out the pain my brain was enduring. The plot, bunch of kids charter a boat to who knows where and comes under attack, from a 2 headed shark, hence the snappy title. This movie is possibly the biggest joke I have seen, ever. The un-special effects were done by a two year old taking her first bath with a toy rubber shark. At some points the people that were eaten were larger than the shark, and others the shark was larger than the boat. The camera work was done so poorly that this was obvious. The shark had the ability to devour people that are standing in waist deep water, yet plunge straight downward into the depths of the water. When the actors, and that is the biggest insult to acting I have ever witnessed, get stranded on an atoll (i always thought that was a coral reef formation, not a makeshift island) they must figure out a way to escape. blah blah. There is not one single redeeming quality of this piece of crap, and it is hard not to swear as I am typing this. Oh, did I mention Brooke Hogan and Carmen Electra are the main attractions? They are still stuck in a cardboard box attempting to act their way out of it. All the extras were following cues from the staff so blatantly it was pathetic. "Act scared", "Act mortified at the person being eaten underwater", even though there is no way you could see it. I could go on, but I'll spare you. Do not see this movie unless you feel the need to watch a "how to not make a movie" instructional video. Worst movie ever. Now I am sure there are the "b-movies so bad they are good" people out there. Well, this is it, minus the good. Recycled scenes in a 87 minute movie, boats not moving when they are supposed to be speeding, conversations of two people on said boats and they can hear each other, the list is endless. 1.5/10 IMDb 2.6 , I guess it got scored high because two topless chicks make out in said waste deep water and get eaten. Brooke, stick with TNA (that is wrestling for the non-followers). At least that is more believable.

And let me tell you.... I busted a gut on this one. I mean I expected bad, but there really isn't a word that adequately describes the level of bad this movie broached upon. Like Ninth circle of hell bad. Like Killer Clowns from Outer Space was an Oscar Winner bad. Like .... never mind. I need another good laugh, so I have Sand shark next on my DVR to laugh through. Whoever wrote this film should be drawn and quartered and forced to sign an agreement that swears they will never write again. B rated? Thats a compliment undeserved. Who in their right mind paid to produce that film? Is there a way to negotiate your contract to NOT include this in your credits list? I know if it were me, I'd certainly explore that option.

Honestly what are these other clowns on? 6 and 7 stars? This movie is one of if not the worst I have watched.

Terrible story line, woeful cgi, my ass could of acted scenes better and so many mistakes.

They should start paying people to watch this. If this was my movie and I had just watched the final cut, I would have slit my wrists, gouged my eyes out and then destroyed all evidence that the movie ever existed while I waited to bleed out.

I thought this movie may be so bad it would be funny, I was wrong it is just really, really bad.

I want the last hour and a half of my life back.