Creep Van

If you like a some low-brow comedy to accompany your bloody B-rate slasher, then the Creep Van will deliver! *NOTE: The version found on Netflix is NOT the raunchier, uncut, extended version that I viewed online.*

Despite a couple of shoddy performance moments and an unmistakably low-budget vibe, Creep Van manages very decent gore and a few laugh-out-loud moments. The humor is fairly original, as is the storyline. The characters and kills are curiously quirky. It is written nicely, and the film makes the most of its' budget by employing traditional stage effects and camera trickery rather than CGI tactics. The soundtrack and sound FX, though mostly absent, worked well enough and weren't a distraction.

The pace is fine, however it's hard to keep track of time that passes within the film. Has a day passed, or a month? Contemplating this was a bother. In fact, there are a number of missing or incomplete components within the story that were slightly bothersome. They did not however, impede My overall enjoyment. I was glad to have watched it, and would watch it again.

There are a number of topless scenes, hilariously bizarre sexuality, and other graphic moments that make this film inappropriate for those under 17 and for those with a big stick up their ultra-tight posterior.

CREEP VAN is a very, very low budget slasher flick, barely more expensive than your average Troma movie although it's a lot more serious in tone. Saying that, there is a Lloyd Kaufman cameo to hammer home the similarities, along with a couple of entirely goofy sex scenes that are played for laughs and have absolutely nothing to do with the central thrust of the storyline.

The creep van of the title is used by a sinister serial killer to butcher his usually female victims, and it takes a couple of no-good characters to team up and go after him. The plot is very light and pretty much an excuse for a string of gory deaths, which are the best thing about the film. The special effects are surprisingly decent for what is a low budget, even if they're completely laughable at the same time. Still, it takes more than gore to make a decent movie, and this is anything but; just another ultra-low budget piece of trash no different from all the rest.

I have seen Gag (2006) from director Scott W. Mckinlay and it wasn't my thing. It has taken a while, 6 years, before he made another full feature.

It's a different flick than Gag, Creep Van moves away from torture porn towards B-movie slasher. The effects used are really well done for a low budget but the acting wasn't always convincing. I guess it's a bit due the script not always being that good. When the killer appears the flick is okay and delivers for the horror fans and even the gorehounds. But it is in between that it sometimes become boring or even laughable.

The cameo from Lloyd Kaufman is funny because he's searching for Mr Kaufman. If you are into bad slashers from the seventies and even eighties then this is your thing, bad story, gruesome killings, gratuitous nudity.

Gore 2,5/5 Nudity 1,5/5 Effects 3/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5

One thing I will say about this film...if you have seizures or are prone to headaches if flashing lights etc, as soon as the credits appear at the beginning, skip. I thought my eyes were going to explode watching that bit.

Anyway, the film. I liked it. True, its not an AAA title, but some of these films that are unknown can turn out to be real gems....sometimes.

So, this guy is down on his luck, starts work in a carwash, and due to public transport being a pain, wants a car/van etc. Rings a number, and thats when the trouble begins.

The van itself, has some very interesting ways to kill a person, obviously controlled by the driver. I was a little confused why no-one reported all these bodies etc, but that would have spoilt the film.

There is some humour in there, not a comedy type film, but just little bits that make you chuckle. Also, the sepecial effects are all the original type of stuff, no cgi/green-screen stuff, of which I mostly prefer.

If you like that kind of film, then give this a go, you may just like it

The number of ultra-ultra-low-low beginner's school films seems to be increasing daily (thank you digital and thank you RED). Unfortunately they also should come with a disclaimer for consumers who want to be assured that what they're about to watch contains some level of competence.

While Creep Van doesn't really rank into that stinking dogpile, it comes a bit too close for comfort at times. I haven't seen "Gag" --- though it does sound pretty horrific, and not in a good way --- but at least "Creep Van" is reasonably well made in the technical sense.

Creep Van follows in the mold of Vehicular Homicide stuff from the '70s like The Car, only there's a very real psycho inside this titular rolling weapon. Whether that's good or not --- well --- I couldn't tell you, because there's no real reason given why the "creep" is slaughtering so many people with so many intricate and (sometimes) amusing deathtraps. Not that psychos NEED a reason to kill people, but if they don't, the filmmaker should at least give us something interesting to watch. That's not the pairing of Brian Kolodziej and Amy Wahrell who, though likable, don't have enough acting chops combined to chew through creamed corn. And isn't Wahrell a bit OLD for Kolodziej? I thought she was his mom half the time. But, I digress....

The main problem with this movie is, well...it doesn't know what it wants to be, exactly. The tone is all over the place: it wants to be a creepy, somber '80s throwback one minute, then a Fangoria face-ripped-off fright fest (but without one genuine shock, ironically), and then a wacky-as-all-get-out Troma schlocker. It actually does succeed in places, but the overall effect is jarringly uneven. It just doesn't have the sheen of a well-made film...even the stuff coming out of Troma these days is miles ahead in overall production quality.

Never thought I'd be referring to Troma as a mainstream standard but...in the context of Creep Van, it is.